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Asked to pay for a group gift that I have previously declined to contribute [closed]
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I periodically catch up with a group of ex-colleagues for a meal, and with one of the birthdays coming up, I was approached by one of them personally via WhatsApp to ask if I would like to contribute to a group gift. I mentioned to "count me out for the gift", but probably due to some error in question, I am now asked to pay for the gift bought by another member. We will be meeting up this weekend for a meal, and I believe the gift would be presented to the birthday member.
Two questions are on my mind now:
- How do I politely decline to pay for the gift which I had explicitly mentioned that I would not be chipping in for?
- How do I deal with such awkward social situations (i.e Would it be better to not attend the meal gathering this weekend)?
gifts
edited Jan 6 '16 at 2:35
Brian
83611320
asked Jan 5 '16 at 11:27
lydia
202
closed as off-topic by DJClayworth, Dawny33, AndreiROM, gnat, Jim G. Jan 8 '16 at 3:08
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Questions asking for advice on what to do are not practical answerable questions (e.g. "what job should I take?", or "what skills should I learn?"). Questions should get answers explaining why and how to make a decision, not advice on what to do. For more information, click here." – AndreiROM, gnat
 |Â
show 3 more comments
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
I periodically catch up with a group of ex-colleagues for a meal, and with one of the birthdays coming up, I was approached by one of them personally via WhatsApp to ask if I would like to contribute to a group gift. I mentioned to "count me out for the gift", but probably due to some error in question, I am now asked to pay for the gift bought by another member. We will be meeting up this weekend for a meal, and I believe the gift would be presented to the birthday member.
Two questions are on my mind now:
- How do I politely decline to pay for the gift which I had explicitly mentioned that I would not be chipping in for?
- How do I deal with such awkward social situations (i.e Would it be better to not attend the meal gathering this weekend)?
gifts
edited Jan 6 '16 at 2:35
Brian
83611320
asked Jan 5 '16 at 11:27
lydia
202
closed as off-topic by DJClayworth, Dawny33, AndreiROM, gnat, Jim G. Jan 8 '16 at 3:08
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Questions asking for advice on what to do are not practical answerable questions (e.g. "what job should I take?", or "what skills should I learn?"). Questions should get answers explaining why and how to make a decision, not advice on what to do. For more information, click here." – AndreiROM, gnat
8
Break out the wallet and make it rain.
– Pequod
Jan 5 '16 at 11:46
9
i think what to do depends on why you didn't want to contribute. Do you strongly dislike the birthday celebrant? disapprove of birthday presents? find yourself unable to afford the contribution? You have options including paying anyway, declining again, and changing your mind about attending. Which to choose depends on your situation so please add details to your question.
– Kate Gregory
Jan 5 '16 at 12:03
6
@DanShaffer 25$ for the boss? I would be annoyed with just 5$, 25 would probably be a hill I'd be willing to die on.
– Lilienthal♦
Jan 5 '16 at 16:25
4
@thursdaysgeek I don't think that's true in all cases. Say the boss has just campaigned really hard and got all of your team 20% raises, you don't think that's worth a gift from the team as a thank you? Certainly it's not something the boss should expect, but is it wrong to do so as a show of appreciation? Personally I don't think so.
– Kialandei
Jan 5 '16 at 16:55
5
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it doesn't appear to be about the workplace.
– DJClayworth
Jan 5 '16 at 23:09
 |Â
show 3 more comments
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
up vote
2
down vote
favorite
I periodically catch up with a group of ex-colleagues for a meal, and with one of the birthdays coming up, I was approached by one of them personally via WhatsApp to ask if I would like to contribute to a group gift. I mentioned to "count me out for the gift", but probably due to some error in question, I am now asked to pay for the gift bought by another member. We will be meeting up this weekend for a meal, and I believe the gift would be presented to the birthday member.
Two questions are on my mind now:
- How do I politely decline to pay for the gift which I had explicitly mentioned that I would not be chipping in for?
- How do I deal with such awkward social situations (i.e Would it be better to not attend the meal gathering this weekend)?
gifts
edited Jan 6 '16 at 2:35
Brian
83611320
asked Jan 5 '16 at 11:27
lydia
202
I periodically catch up with a group of ex-colleagues for a meal, and with one of the birthdays coming up, I was approached by one of them personally via WhatsApp to ask if I would like to contribute to a group gift. I mentioned to "count me out for the gift", but probably due to some error in question, I am now asked to pay for the gift bought by another member. We will be meeting up this weekend for a meal, and I believe the gift would be presented to the birthday member.
Two questions are on my mind now:
- How do I politely decline to pay for the gift which I had explicitly mentioned that I would not be chipping in for?
- How do I deal with such awkward social situations (i.e Would it be better to not attend the meal gathering this weekend)?
gifts
edited Jan 6 '16 at 2:35
Brian
83611320
asked Jan 5 '16 at 11:27
lydia
202
edited Jan 6 '16 at 2:35
Brian
83611320
edited Jan 6 '16 at 2:35
Brian
83611320
edited Jan 6 '16 at 2:35
Brian
83611320
83611320
asked Jan 5 '16 at 11:27
lydia
202
asked Jan 5 '16 at 11:27
lydia
202
asked Jan 5 '16 at 11:27
lydia
202
202
closed as off-topic by DJClayworth, Dawny33, AndreiROM, gnat, Jim G. Jan 8 '16 at 3:08
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Questions asking for advice on what to do are not practical answerable questions (e.g. "what job should I take?", or "what skills should I learn?"). Questions should get answers explaining why and how to make a decision, not advice on what to do. For more information, click here." – AndreiROM, gnat
closed as off-topic by DJClayworth, Dawny33, AndreiROM, gnat, Jim G. Jan 8 '16 at 3:08
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Questions asking for advice on what to do are not practical answerable questions (e.g. "what job should I take?", or "what skills should I learn?"). Questions should get answers explaining why and how to make a decision, not advice on what to do. For more information, click here." – AndreiROM, gnat
8
Break out the wallet and make it rain.
– Pequod
Jan 5 '16 at 11:46
9
i think what to do depends on why you didn't want to contribute. Do you strongly dislike the birthday celebrant? disapprove of birthday presents? find yourself unable to afford the contribution? You have options including paying anyway, declining again, and changing your mind about attending. Which to choose depends on your situation so please add details to your question.
– Kate Gregory
Jan 5 '16 at 12:03
6
@DanShaffer 25$ for the boss? I would be annoyed with just 5$, 25 would probably be a hill I'd be willing to die on.
– Lilienthal♦
Jan 5 '16 at 16:25
4
@thursdaysgeek I don't think that's true in all cases. Say the boss has just campaigned really hard and got all of your team 20% raises, you don't think that's worth a gift from the team as a thank you? Certainly it's not something the boss should expect, but is it wrong to do so as a show of appreciation? Personally I don't think so.
– Kialandei
Jan 5 '16 at 16:55
5
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it doesn't appear to be about the workplace.
– DJClayworth
Jan 5 '16 at 23:09
 |Â
show 3 more comments
8
Break out the wallet and make it rain.
– Pequod
Jan 5 '16 at 11:46
9
i think what to do depends on why you didn't want to contribute. Do you strongly dislike the birthday celebrant? disapprove of birthday presents? find yourself unable to afford the contribution? You have options including paying anyway, declining again, and changing your mind about attending. Which to choose depends on your situation so please add details to your question.
– Kate Gregory
Jan 5 '16 at 12:03
6
@DanShaffer 25$ for the boss? I would be annoyed with just 5$, 25 would probably be a hill I'd be willing to die on.
– Lilienthal♦
Jan 5 '16 at 16:25
4
@thursdaysgeek I don't think that's true in all cases. Say the boss has just campaigned really hard and got all of your team 20% raises, you don't think that's worth a gift from the team as a thank you? Certainly it's not something the boss should expect, but is it wrong to do so as a show of appreciation? Personally I don't think so.
– Kialandei
Jan 5 '16 at 16:55
5
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it doesn't appear to be about the workplace.
– DJClayworth
Jan 5 '16 at 23:09
8
8
Break out the wallet and make it rain.
– Pequod
Jan 5 '16 at 11:46
Break out the wallet and make it rain.
– Pequod
Jan 5 '16 at 11:46
9
9
i think what to do depends on why you didn't want to contribute. Do you strongly dislike the birthday celebrant? disapprove of birthday presents? find yourself unable to afford the contribution? You have options including paying anyway, declining again, and changing your mind about attending. Which to choose depends on your situation so please add details to your question.
– Kate Gregory
Jan 5 '16 at 12:03
i think what to do depends on why you didn't want to contribute. Do you strongly dislike the birthday celebrant? disapprove of birthday presents? find yourself unable to afford the contribution? You have options including paying anyway, declining again, and changing your mind about attending. Which to choose depends on your situation so please add details to your question.
– Kate Gregory
Jan 5 '16 at 12:03
6
6
@DanShaffer 25$ for the boss? I would be annoyed with just 5$, 25 would probably be a hill I'd be willing to die on.
– Lilienthal♦
Jan 5 '16 at 16:25
@DanShaffer 25$ for the boss? I would be annoyed with just 5$, 25 would probably be a hill I'd be willing to die on.
– Lilienthal♦
Jan 5 '16 at 16:25
4
4
@thursdaysgeek I don't think that's true in all cases. Say the boss has just campaigned really hard and got all of your team 20% raises, you don't think that's worth a gift from the team as a thank you? Certainly it's not something the boss should expect, but is it wrong to do so as a show of appreciation? Personally I don't think so.
– Kialandei
Jan 5 '16 at 16:55
@thursdaysgeek I don't think that's true in all cases. Say the boss has just campaigned really hard and got all of your team 20% raises, you don't think that's worth a gift from the team as a thank you? Certainly it's not something the boss should expect, but is it wrong to do so as a show of appreciation? Personally I don't think so.
– Kialandei
Jan 5 '16 at 16:55
5
5
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it doesn't appear to be about the workplace.
– DJClayworth
Jan 5 '16 at 23:09
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it doesn't appear to be about the workplace.
– DJClayworth
Jan 5 '16 at 23:09
 |Â
show 3 more comments
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
up vote
10
down vote
You could approach the person who is asking you for the money with something along the lines of:
"Sorry, I didn't realise I'd been included in the gift, I thought I'd
let you know to count me out. Would it cause any problems for me to be
counted out still and not contribute?"
If it's an honest mistake then I don't see how this would cause any offence or bad feelings, you said you didn't want to be included when you were first approached.
I don't see any reason for you to not go to the meal unless the above turned the whole situation very sour, someone who's not expecting a gift anyway should be grateful to the people who got it for them, not angsty about someone not contributing. As for the person organising the gift, they asked you and then ignored/missed your answer which is not your fault.
That said, I think personally if it was only a small contribution, I would probably contribute at this point anyway, but just mention that I thought I'd asked to be counted out, but not to worry and mistakes happen. Then just try and be clearer next time around.
answered Jan 5 '16 at 12:32
Kialandei
946410
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
I am always surprised by people asking "How do I politely do X" - the question is really "How do I do X without any negative consequences for myself", and doing things politely is sometimes the right way to do it, and sometimes not.
Well, it's not your mistake. You were asked to contribute, you said you wouldn't, and someone made the wrong assumption. Not your mistake. So "I am sorry about the misunderstanding, but I clearly told X that I wouldn't contribute" is enough of an answer.
Nobody knows about your financial situation. You may be swimming in money (single people in the UK living with their parents often are), or you might find it hard to find any spare cash (people in the UK with adult children that they can't get rid of often are); your car might be close to breaking down and you need any penny for a new one, your child might need special care that eats up all your cash and so on. Since your financial situation and the reasons behind it are only your business, "I will not contribute" should be acceptable to anyone. The consequence may be that you are not getting a present when it's your birthday :-(
There is no awkward situation unless someone else makes it awkward. So you go to the meal. If someone says "lydia refused to contribute to the present", you tell them straight "so you know my financial situation"? (That's the only thing you say. No details whatsoever. Only that they don't know your financial situation, and therefore it is very impolite of them to bring it up). The only situation where you wouldn't go to the meal is if every individual is expected to pay for their share of the meal, and you can't.
answered Jan 6 '16 at 9:12
gnasher729
70.9k31131222
I think the word care in "care might be breaking down" is probably wrong. It should probably be "carer". Unless it's car, but that's too prosaic.
– Andrew Leach
Jan 6 '16 at 13:57
@AndrewLeach actually I thought he meant car - I know I've got a £200 bill coming up soon for work on my car, it's not that unusual to know something is going to need to be done soon, just not right now and be planning your finances based around that known cost.
– Jon Story
Jan 6 '16 at 14:51
Oops - fixed it.
– gnasher729
Jan 6 '16 at 22:07
suggest improvements |Â
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
10
down vote
You could approach the person who is asking you for the money with something along the lines of:
"Sorry, I didn't realise I'd been included in the gift, I thought I'd
let you know to count me out. Would it cause any problems for me to be
counted out still and not contribute?"
If it's an honest mistake then I don't see how this would cause any offence or bad feelings, you said you didn't want to be included when you were first approached.
I don't see any reason for you to not go to the meal unless the above turned the whole situation very sour, someone who's not expecting a gift anyway should be grateful to the people who got it for them, not angsty about someone not contributing. As for the person organising the gift, they asked you and then ignored/missed your answer which is not your fault.
That said, I think personally if it was only a small contribution, I would probably contribute at this point anyway, but just mention that I thought I'd asked to be counted out, but not to worry and mistakes happen. Then just try and be clearer next time around.
answered Jan 5 '16 at 12:32
Kialandei
946410
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
10
down vote
You could approach the person who is asking you for the money with something along the lines of:
"Sorry, I didn't realise I'd been included in the gift, I thought I'd
let you know to count me out. Would it cause any problems for me to be
counted out still and not contribute?"
If it's an honest mistake then I don't see how this would cause any offence or bad feelings, you said you didn't want to be included when you were first approached.
I don't see any reason for you to not go to the meal unless the above turned the whole situation very sour, someone who's not expecting a gift anyway should be grateful to the people who got it for them, not angsty about someone not contributing. As for the person organising the gift, they asked you and then ignored/missed your answer which is not your fault.
That said, I think personally if it was only a small contribution, I would probably contribute at this point anyway, but just mention that I thought I'd asked to be counted out, but not to worry and mistakes happen. Then just try and be clearer next time around.
answered Jan 5 '16 at 12:32
Kialandei
946410
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
10
down vote
up vote
10
down vote
You could approach the person who is asking you for the money with something along the lines of:
"Sorry, I didn't realise I'd been included in the gift, I thought I'd
let you know to count me out. Would it cause any problems for me to be
counted out still and not contribute?"
If it's an honest mistake then I don't see how this would cause any offence or bad feelings, you said you didn't want to be included when you were first approached.
I don't see any reason for you to not go to the meal unless the above turned the whole situation very sour, someone who's not expecting a gift anyway should be grateful to the people who got it for them, not angsty about someone not contributing. As for the person organising the gift, they asked you and then ignored/missed your answer which is not your fault.
That said, I think personally if it was only a small contribution, I would probably contribute at this point anyway, but just mention that I thought I'd asked to be counted out, but not to worry and mistakes happen. Then just try and be clearer next time around.
answered Jan 5 '16 at 12:32
Kialandei
946410
You could approach the person who is asking you for the money with something along the lines of:
"Sorry, I didn't realise I'd been included in the gift, I thought I'd
let you know to count me out. Would it cause any problems for me to be
counted out still and not contribute?"
If it's an honest mistake then I don't see how this would cause any offence or bad feelings, you said you didn't want to be included when you were first approached.
I don't see any reason for you to not go to the meal unless the above turned the whole situation very sour, someone who's not expecting a gift anyway should be grateful to the people who got it for them, not angsty about someone not contributing. As for the person organising the gift, they asked you and then ignored/missed your answer which is not your fault.
That said, I think personally if it was only a small contribution, I would probably contribute at this point anyway, but just mention that I thought I'd asked to be counted out, but not to worry and mistakes happen. Then just try and be clearer next time around.
answered Jan 5 '16 at 12:32
Kialandei
946410
answered Jan 5 '16 at 12:32
Kialandei
946410
answered Jan 5 '16 at 12:32
Kialandei
946410
answered Jan 5 '16 at 12:32
Kialandei
946410
946410
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
I am always surprised by people asking "How do I politely do X" - the question is really "How do I do X without any negative consequences for myself", and doing things politely is sometimes the right way to do it, and sometimes not.
Well, it's not your mistake. You were asked to contribute, you said you wouldn't, and someone made the wrong assumption. Not your mistake. So "I am sorry about the misunderstanding, but I clearly told X that I wouldn't contribute" is enough of an answer.
Nobody knows about your financial situation. You may be swimming in money (single people in the UK living with their parents often are), or you might find it hard to find any spare cash (people in the UK with adult children that they can't get rid of often are); your car might be close to breaking down and you need any penny for a new one, your child might need special care that eats up all your cash and so on. Since your financial situation and the reasons behind it are only your business, "I will not contribute" should be acceptable to anyone. The consequence may be that you are not getting a present when it's your birthday :-(
There is no awkward situation unless someone else makes it awkward. So you go to the meal. If someone says "lydia refused to contribute to the present", you tell them straight "so you know my financial situation"? (That's the only thing you say. No details whatsoever. Only that they don't know your financial situation, and therefore it is very impolite of them to bring it up). The only situation where you wouldn't go to the meal is if every individual is expected to pay for their share of the meal, and you can't.
answered Jan 6 '16 at 9:12
gnasher729
70.9k31131222
I think the word care in "care might be breaking down" is probably wrong. It should probably be "carer". Unless it's car, but that's too prosaic.
– Andrew Leach
Jan 6 '16 at 13:57
@AndrewLeach actually I thought he meant car - I know I've got a £200 bill coming up soon for work on my car, it's not that unusual to know something is going to need to be done soon, just not right now and be planning your finances based around that known cost.
– Jon Story
Jan 6 '16 at 14:51
Oops - fixed it.
– gnasher729
Jan 6 '16 at 22:07
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
I am always surprised by people asking "How do I politely do X" - the question is really "How do I do X without any negative consequences for myself", and doing things politely is sometimes the right way to do it, and sometimes not.
Well, it's not your mistake. You were asked to contribute, you said you wouldn't, and someone made the wrong assumption. Not your mistake. So "I am sorry about the misunderstanding, but I clearly told X that I wouldn't contribute" is enough of an answer.
Nobody knows about your financial situation. You may be swimming in money (single people in the UK living with their parents often are), or you might find it hard to find any spare cash (people in the UK with adult children that they can't get rid of often are); your car might be close to breaking down and you need any penny for a new one, your child might need special care that eats up all your cash and so on. Since your financial situation and the reasons behind it are only your business, "I will not contribute" should be acceptable to anyone. The consequence may be that you are not getting a present when it's your birthday :-(
There is no awkward situation unless someone else makes it awkward. So you go to the meal. If someone says "lydia refused to contribute to the present", you tell them straight "so you know my financial situation"? (That's the only thing you say. No details whatsoever. Only that they don't know your financial situation, and therefore it is very impolite of them to bring it up). The only situation where you wouldn't go to the meal is if every individual is expected to pay for their share of the meal, and you can't.
answered Jan 6 '16 at 9:12
gnasher729
70.9k31131222
I think the word care in "care might be breaking down" is probably wrong. It should probably be "carer". Unless it's car, but that's too prosaic.
– Andrew Leach
Jan 6 '16 at 13:57
@AndrewLeach actually I thought he meant car - I know I've got a £200 bill coming up soon for work on my car, it's not that unusual to know something is going to need to be done soon, just not right now and be planning your finances based around that known cost.
– Jon Story
Jan 6 '16 at 14:51
Oops - fixed it.
– gnasher729
Jan 6 '16 at 22:07
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
6
down vote
up vote
6
down vote
I am always surprised by people asking "How do I politely do X" - the question is really "How do I do X without any negative consequences for myself", and doing things politely is sometimes the right way to do it, and sometimes not.
Well, it's not your mistake. You were asked to contribute, you said you wouldn't, and someone made the wrong assumption. Not your mistake. So "I am sorry about the misunderstanding, but I clearly told X that I wouldn't contribute" is enough of an answer.
Nobody knows about your financial situation. You may be swimming in money (single people in the UK living with their parents often are), or you might find it hard to find any spare cash (people in the UK with adult children that they can't get rid of often are); your car might be close to breaking down and you need any penny for a new one, your child might need special care that eats up all your cash and so on. Since your financial situation and the reasons behind it are only your business, "I will not contribute" should be acceptable to anyone. The consequence may be that you are not getting a present when it's your birthday :-(
There is no awkward situation unless someone else makes it awkward. So you go to the meal. If someone says "lydia refused to contribute to the present", you tell them straight "so you know my financial situation"? (That's the only thing you say. No details whatsoever. Only that they don't know your financial situation, and therefore it is very impolite of them to bring it up). The only situation where you wouldn't go to the meal is if every individual is expected to pay for their share of the meal, and you can't.
answered Jan 6 '16 at 9:12
gnasher729
70.9k31131222
I am always surprised by people asking "How do I politely do X" - the question is really "How do I do X without any negative consequences for myself", and doing things politely is sometimes the right way to do it, and sometimes not.
Well, it's not your mistake. You were asked to contribute, you said you wouldn't, and someone made the wrong assumption. Not your mistake. So "I am sorry about the misunderstanding, but I clearly told X that I wouldn't contribute" is enough of an answer.
Nobody knows about your financial situation. You may be swimming in money (single people in the UK living with their parents often are), or you might find it hard to find any spare cash (people in the UK with adult children that they can't get rid of often are); your car might be close to breaking down and you need any penny for a new one, your child might need special care that eats up all your cash and so on. Since your financial situation and the reasons behind it are only your business, "I will not contribute" should be acceptable to anyone. The consequence may be that you are not getting a present when it's your birthday :-(
There is no awkward situation unless someone else makes it awkward. So you go to the meal. If someone says "lydia refused to contribute to the present", you tell them straight "so you know my financial situation"? (That's the only thing you say. No details whatsoever. Only that they don't know your financial situation, and therefore it is very impolite of them to bring it up). The only situation where you wouldn't go to the meal is if every individual is expected to pay for their share of the meal, and you can't.
answered Jan 6 '16 at 9:12
gnasher729
70.9k31131222
edited Jan 6 '16 at 22:06
answered Jan 6 '16 at 9:12
gnasher729
70.9k31131222
answered Jan 6 '16 at 9:12
gnasher729
70.9k31131222
answered Jan 6 '16 at 9:12
gnasher729
70.9k31131222
70.9k31131222
I think the word care in "care might be breaking down" is probably wrong. It should probably be "carer". Unless it's car, but that's too prosaic.
– Andrew Leach
Jan 6 '16 at 13:57
@AndrewLeach actually I thought he meant car - I know I've got a £200 bill coming up soon for work on my car, it's not that unusual to know something is going to need to be done soon, just not right now and be planning your finances based around that known cost.
– Jon Story
Jan 6 '16 at 14:51
Oops - fixed it.
– gnasher729
Jan 6 '16 at 22:07
suggest improvements |Â
I think the word care in "care might be breaking down" is probably wrong. It should probably be "carer". Unless it's car, but that's too prosaic.
– Andrew Leach
Jan 6 '16 at 13:57
@AndrewLeach actually I thought he meant car - I know I've got a £200 bill coming up soon for work on my car, it's not that unusual to know something is going to need to be done soon, just not right now and be planning your finances based around that known cost.
– Jon Story
Jan 6 '16 at 14:51
Oops - fixed it.
– gnasher729
Jan 6 '16 at 22:07
I think the word care in "care might be breaking down" is probably wrong. It should probably be "carer". Unless it's car, but that's too prosaic.
– Andrew Leach
Jan 6 '16 at 13:57
I think the word care in "care might be breaking down" is probably wrong. It should probably be "carer". Unless it's car, but that's too prosaic.
– Andrew Leach
Jan 6 '16 at 13:57
@AndrewLeach actually I thought he meant car - I know I've got a £200 bill coming up soon for work on my car, it's not that unusual to know something is going to need to be done soon, just not right now and be planning your finances based around that known cost.
– Jon Story
Jan 6 '16 at 14:51
@AndrewLeach actually I thought he meant car - I know I've got a £200 bill coming up soon for work on my car, it's not that unusual to know something is going to need to be done soon, just not right now and be planning your finances based around that known cost.
– Jon Story
Jan 6 '16 at 14:51
Oops - fixed it.
– gnasher729
Jan 6 '16 at 22:07
Oops - fixed it.
– gnasher729
Jan 6 '16 at 22:07
suggest improvements |Â
8
Break out the wallet and make it rain.
– Pequod
Jan 5 '16 at 11:46
9
i think what to do depends on why you didn't want to contribute. Do you strongly dislike the birthday celebrant? disapprove of birthday presents? find yourself unable to afford the contribution? You have options including paying anyway, declining again, and changing your mind about attending. Which to choose depends on your situation so please add details to your question.
– Kate Gregory
Jan 5 '16 at 12:03
6
@DanShaffer 25$ for the boss? I would be annoyed with just 5$, 25 would probably be a hill I'd be willing to die on.
– Lilienthal♦
Jan 5 '16 at 16:25
4
@thursdaysgeek I don't think that's true in all cases. Say the boss has just campaigned really hard and got all of your team 20% raises, you don't think that's worth a gift from the team as a thank you? Certainly it's not something the boss should expect, but is it wrong to do so as a show of appreciation? Personally I don't think so.
– Kialandei
Jan 5 '16 at 16:55
5
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it doesn't appear to be about the workplace.
– DJClayworth
Jan 5 '16 at 23:09