When (if ever) is it appropriate to file a grievance about the behaviour of one the MDs in a family business?

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I work in a start-up family business and have for a few years. The sister of the leadhead MD (an MD herself) works part time at the business. However, she constantly makes demoralizing comments including (but not limited to) that we have the minimum level of benefits allowed by law, 'joke' to female members of staff they will be replaced if they go on maternity leave (and the tactics they'd use to make them leave), and make comments that "If I were you (employees), there's no way I'd work here".



We all work incredibly hard, for little money, due to the potential present in the business. This issue has been brought to the attention of the main MD before, but nothing has happened. I have removed a lot of specifics here for the sake of anonymity, but this has gone on for a long time, and I don't think myself and my colleagues are being too sensitive or soft.



So, at what point is it advisable to file an actual grievance in a family business, rather than having (another) informal chat about it? And are there any tips regarding complaining about the MD in question?







share|improve this question


















  • 7




    What does MD stand for? Don't assume that everyone reading this question is familiar with your abbreviations.
    – AndreiROM
    Feb 17 '16 at 15:14











  • @Chad The UK (Cardiff is in Wales) does indeed have some sort of legally defined term, but it just seems to be a fancy name for a formal complaint. See this page on Formal Procedures at gov.uk.
    – Lilienthal♦
    Feb 17 '16 at 16:06






  • 1




    Is MD "managing director" as some have assumed, or "medical doctor" (the common meaning of the acronym?)
    – Ernest Friedman-Hill
    Feb 17 '16 at 16:57






  • 2




    "due to the potential present in the business" - but do you have equity? If not then the potential, even if eventually realized, would not benefit you.
    – TheMathemagician
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:12






  • 4




    In the UK 'Managing Director' is the common meaning of MD. 'Medical Doctor' is a North American thing.
    – DJClayworth
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:46

















up vote
1
down vote

favorite












I work in a start-up family business and have for a few years. The sister of the leadhead MD (an MD herself) works part time at the business. However, she constantly makes demoralizing comments including (but not limited to) that we have the minimum level of benefits allowed by law, 'joke' to female members of staff they will be replaced if they go on maternity leave (and the tactics they'd use to make them leave), and make comments that "If I were you (employees), there's no way I'd work here".



We all work incredibly hard, for little money, due to the potential present in the business. This issue has been brought to the attention of the main MD before, but nothing has happened. I have removed a lot of specifics here for the sake of anonymity, but this has gone on for a long time, and I don't think myself and my colleagues are being too sensitive or soft.



So, at what point is it advisable to file an actual grievance in a family business, rather than having (another) informal chat about it? And are there any tips regarding complaining about the MD in question?







share|improve this question


















  • 7




    What does MD stand for? Don't assume that everyone reading this question is familiar with your abbreviations.
    – AndreiROM
    Feb 17 '16 at 15:14











  • @Chad The UK (Cardiff is in Wales) does indeed have some sort of legally defined term, but it just seems to be a fancy name for a formal complaint. See this page on Formal Procedures at gov.uk.
    – Lilienthal♦
    Feb 17 '16 at 16:06






  • 1




    Is MD "managing director" as some have assumed, or "medical doctor" (the common meaning of the acronym?)
    – Ernest Friedman-Hill
    Feb 17 '16 at 16:57






  • 2




    "due to the potential present in the business" - but do you have equity? If not then the potential, even if eventually realized, would not benefit you.
    – TheMathemagician
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:12






  • 4




    In the UK 'Managing Director' is the common meaning of MD. 'Medical Doctor' is a North American thing.
    – DJClayworth
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:46













up vote
1
down vote

favorite









up vote
1
down vote

favorite











I work in a start-up family business and have for a few years. The sister of the leadhead MD (an MD herself) works part time at the business. However, she constantly makes demoralizing comments including (but not limited to) that we have the minimum level of benefits allowed by law, 'joke' to female members of staff they will be replaced if they go on maternity leave (and the tactics they'd use to make them leave), and make comments that "If I were you (employees), there's no way I'd work here".



We all work incredibly hard, for little money, due to the potential present in the business. This issue has been brought to the attention of the main MD before, but nothing has happened. I have removed a lot of specifics here for the sake of anonymity, but this has gone on for a long time, and I don't think myself and my colleagues are being too sensitive or soft.



So, at what point is it advisable to file an actual grievance in a family business, rather than having (another) informal chat about it? And are there any tips regarding complaining about the MD in question?







share|improve this question














I work in a start-up family business and have for a few years. The sister of the leadhead MD (an MD herself) works part time at the business. However, she constantly makes demoralizing comments including (but not limited to) that we have the minimum level of benefits allowed by law, 'joke' to female members of staff they will be replaced if they go on maternity leave (and the tactics they'd use to make them leave), and make comments that "If I were you (employees), there's no way I'd work here".



We all work incredibly hard, for little money, due to the potential present in the business. This issue has been brought to the attention of the main MD before, but nothing has happened. I have removed a lot of specifics here for the sake of anonymity, but this has gone on for a long time, and I don't think myself and my colleagues are being too sensitive or soft.



So, at what point is it advisable to file an actual grievance in a family business, rather than having (another) informal chat about it? And are there any tips regarding complaining about the MD in question?









share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited Feb 17 '16 at 16:07









IDrinkandIKnowThings

43.8k1397187




43.8k1397187










asked Feb 17 '16 at 14:56







anon














  • 7




    What does MD stand for? Don't assume that everyone reading this question is familiar with your abbreviations.
    – AndreiROM
    Feb 17 '16 at 15:14











  • @Chad The UK (Cardiff is in Wales) does indeed have some sort of legally defined term, but it just seems to be a fancy name for a formal complaint. See this page on Formal Procedures at gov.uk.
    – Lilienthal♦
    Feb 17 '16 at 16:06






  • 1




    Is MD "managing director" as some have assumed, or "medical doctor" (the common meaning of the acronym?)
    – Ernest Friedman-Hill
    Feb 17 '16 at 16:57






  • 2




    "due to the potential present in the business" - but do you have equity? If not then the potential, even if eventually realized, would not benefit you.
    – TheMathemagician
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:12






  • 4




    In the UK 'Managing Director' is the common meaning of MD. 'Medical Doctor' is a North American thing.
    – DJClayworth
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:46













  • 7




    What does MD stand for? Don't assume that everyone reading this question is familiar with your abbreviations.
    – AndreiROM
    Feb 17 '16 at 15:14











  • @Chad The UK (Cardiff is in Wales) does indeed have some sort of legally defined term, but it just seems to be a fancy name for a formal complaint. See this page on Formal Procedures at gov.uk.
    – Lilienthal♦
    Feb 17 '16 at 16:06






  • 1




    Is MD "managing director" as some have assumed, or "medical doctor" (the common meaning of the acronym?)
    – Ernest Friedman-Hill
    Feb 17 '16 at 16:57






  • 2




    "due to the potential present in the business" - but do you have equity? If not then the potential, even if eventually realized, would not benefit you.
    – TheMathemagician
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:12






  • 4




    In the UK 'Managing Director' is the common meaning of MD. 'Medical Doctor' is a North American thing.
    – DJClayworth
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:46








7




7




What does MD stand for? Don't assume that everyone reading this question is familiar with your abbreviations.
– AndreiROM
Feb 17 '16 at 15:14





What does MD stand for? Don't assume that everyone reading this question is familiar with your abbreviations.
– AndreiROM
Feb 17 '16 at 15:14













@Chad The UK (Cardiff is in Wales) does indeed have some sort of legally defined term, but it just seems to be a fancy name for a formal complaint. See this page on Formal Procedures at gov.uk.
– Lilienthal♦
Feb 17 '16 at 16:06




@Chad The UK (Cardiff is in Wales) does indeed have some sort of legally defined term, but it just seems to be a fancy name for a formal complaint. See this page on Formal Procedures at gov.uk.
– Lilienthal♦
Feb 17 '16 at 16:06




1




1




Is MD "managing director" as some have assumed, or "medical doctor" (the common meaning of the acronym?)
– Ernest Friedman-Hill
Feb 17 '16 at 16:57




Is MD "managing director" as some have assumed, or "medical doctor" (the common meaning of the acronym?)
– Ernest Friedman-Hill
Feb 17 '16 at 16:57




2




2




"due to the potential present in the business" - but do you have equity? If not then the potential, even if eventually realized, would not benefit you.
– TheMathemagician
Feb 17 '16 at 17:12




"due to the potential present in the business" - but do you have equity? If not then the potential, even if eventually realized, would not benefit you.
– TheMathemagician
Feb 17 '16 at 17:12




4




4




In the UK 'Managing Director' is the common meaning of MD. 'Medical Doctor' is a North American thing.
– DJClayworth
Feb 17 '16 at 17:46





In the UK 'Managing Director' is the common meaning of MD. 'Medical Doctor' is a North American thing.
– DJClayworth
Feb 17 '16 at 17:46











3 Answers
3






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
8
down vote













In all seriousness, that would be after your CV has been updated, sent out, and been accepted by another employer.



Once you file a grievance, your life will never be the same at that company. There will be new policies implemented which will make things more professional but more harsh at the company and they will blame you for them. While there will be no "official" retribution, you will not be happy there. If it's that bad, move on, but if you want to continue to work there, NO TIME is a good time to file a grievance, especially in a family business, as it will be taken VERY personally.






share|improve this answer




















  • It sounds like the sister is only coming some of the times. Unsure what interval of time he means, but I would take that into consideration as well on top of what Richard said. If it is once a month then maybe it's not as big of a deal.
    – Dan
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:59

















up vote
8
down vote













Talk to the lead, and ask him to ask his sister to tone down the snarky comment since you have the impression that theyre hurting morale generally and they're certainly annoying you.



However, also remember that some folks just have a cynical sense of humor and she might be shocked that anyone was taking her seriously.



Formal grievance is the nuclear option. Try a brokered peace first.






share|improve this answer




















  • I don't see another answer that doesn't involve playing "you bet your job", preemptively leaving, or learning to ignore the cynic.
    – keshlam
    Feb 20 '16 at 15:41

















up vote
4
down vote














So, at what point is it advisable to file an actual grievance in a
family business, rather than having (another) informal chat about it?




In general, you should take formal actions when



  • Sufficient informal actions have taken place

  • The informal actions haven't resulted in an acceptable outcome

  • You are willing to bear the consequences associated with the formal action (costs, time, persistence, social impact, possible informal retaliation from coworkers and employer, etc)

  • The issue at hand is serious enough

  • Your own record is extremely clean

Don't ever treat the filing of a formal action casually. Once you start things in motion, they are exceedingly hard to stop, and can have difficult consequences even if you succeed.






share|improve this answer






















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    3 Answers
    3






    active

    oldest

    votes








    3 Answers
    3






    active

    oldest

    votes









    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes








    up vote
    8
    down vote













    In all seriousness, that would be after your CV has been updated, sent out, and been accepted by another employer.



    Once you file a grievance, your life will never be the same at that company. There will be new policies implemented which will make things more professional but more harsh at the company and they will blame you for them. While there will be no "official" retribution, you will not be happy there. If it's that bad, move on, but if you want to continue to work there, NO TIME is a good time to file a grievance, especially in a family business, as it will be taken VERY personally.






    share|improve this answer




















    • It sounds like the sister is only coming some of the times. Unsure what interval of time he means, but I would take that into consideration as well on top of what Richard said. If it is once a month then maybe it's not as big of a deal.
      – Dan
      Feb 17 '16 at 17:59














    up vote
    8
    down vote













    In all seriousness, that would be after your CV has been updated, sent out, and been accepted by another employer.



    Once you file a grievance, your life will never be the same at that company. There will be new policies implemented which will make things more professional but more harsh at the company and they will blame you for them. While there will be no "official" retribution, you will not be happy there. If it's that bad, move on, but if you want to continue to work there, NO TIME is a good time to file a grievance, especially in a family business, as it will be taken VERY personally.






    share|improve this answer




















    • It sounds like the sister is only coming some of the times. Unsure what interval of time he means, but I would take that into consideration as well on top of what Richard said. If it is once a month then maybe it's not as big of a deal.
      – Dan
      Feb 17 '16 at 17:59












    up vote
    8
    down vote










    up vote
    8
    down vote









    In all seriousness, that would be after your CV has been updated, sent out, and been accepted by another employer.



    Once you file a grievance, your life will never be the same at that company. There will be new policies implemented which will make things more professional but more harsh at the company and they will blame you for them. While there will be no "official" retribution, you will not be happy there. If it's that bad, move on, but if you want to continue to work there, NO TIME is a good time to file a grievance, especially in a family business, as it will be taken VERY personally.






    share|improve this answer












    In all seriousness, that would be after your CV has been updated, sent out, and been accepted by another employer.



    Once you file a grievance, your life will never be the same at that company. There will be new policies implemented which will make things more professional but more harsh at the company and they will blame you for them. While there will be no "official" retribution, you will not be happy there. If it's that bad, move on, but if you want to continue to work there, NO TIME is a good time to file a grievance, especially in a family business, as it will be taken VERY personally.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered Feb 17 '16 at 15:04









    Richard U

    77.5k56201308




    77.5k56201308











    • It sounds like the sister is only coming some of the times. Unsure what interval of time he means, but I would take that into consideration as well on top of what Richard said. If it is once a month then maybe it's not as big of a deal.
      – Dan
      Feb 17 '16 at 17:59
















    • It sounds like the sister is only coming some of the times. Unsure what interval of time he means, but I would take that into consideration as well on top of what Richard said. If it is once a month then maybe it's not as big of a deal.
      – Dan
      Feb 17 '16 at 17:59















    It sounds like the sister is only coming some of the times. Unsure what interval of time he means, but I would take that into consideration as well on top of what Richard said. If it is once a month then maybe it's not as big of a deal.
    – Dan
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:59




    It sounds like the sister is only coming some of the times. Unsure what interval of time he means, but I would take that into consideration as well on top of what Richard said. If it is once a month then maybe it's not as big of a deal.
    – Dan
    Feb 17 '16 at 17:59












    up vote
    8
    down vote













    Talk to the lead, and ask him to ask his sister to tone down the snarky comment since you have the impression that theyre hurting morale generally and they're certainly annoying you.



    However, also remember that some folks just have a cynical sense of humor and she might be shocked that anyone was taking her seriously.



    Formal grievance is the nuclear option. Try a brokered peace first.






    share|improve this answer




















    • I don't see another answer that doesn't involve playing "you bet your job", preemptively leaving, or learning to ignore the cynic.
      – keshlam
      Feb 20 '16 at 15:41














    up vote
    8
    down vote













    Talk to the lead, and ask him to ask his sister to tone down the snarky comment since you have the impression that theyre hurting morale generally and they're certainly annoying you.



    However, also remember that some folks just have a cynical sense of humor and she might be shocked that anyone was taking her seriously.



    Formal grievance is the nuclear option. Try a brokered peace first.






    share|improve this answer




















    • I don't see another answer that doesn't involve playing "you bet your job", preemptively leaving, or learning to ignore the cynic.
      – keshlam
      Feb 20 '16 at 15:41












    up vote
    8
    down vote










    up vote
    8
    down vote









    Talk to the lead, and ask him to ask his sister to tone down the snarky comment since you have the impression that theyre hurting morale generally and they're certainly annoying you.



    However, also remember that some folks just have a cynical sense of humor and she might be shocked that anyone was taking her seriously.



    Formal grievance is the nuclear option. Try a brokered peace first.






    share|improve this answer












    Talk to the lead, and ask him to ask his sister to tone down the snarky comment since you have the impression that theyre hurting morale generally and they're certainly annoying you.



    However, also remember that some folks just have a cynical sense of humor and she might be shocked that anyone was taking her seriously.



    Formal grievance is the nuclear option. Try a brokered peace first.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered Feb 17 '16 at 15:06









    keshlam

    41.5k1267144




    41.5k1267144











    • I don't see another answer that doesn't involve playing "you bet your job", preemptively leaving, or learning to ignore the cynic.
      – keshlam
      Feb 20 '16 at 15:41
















    • I don't see another answer that doesn't involve playing "you bet your job", preemptively leaving, or learning to ignore the cynic.
      – keshlam
      Feb 20 '16 at 15:41















    I don't see another answer that doesn't involve playing "you bet your job", preemptively leaving, or learning to ignore the cynic.
    – keshlam
    Feb 20 '16 at 15:41




    I don't see another answer that doesn't involve playing "you bet your job", preemptively leaving, or learning to ignore the cynic.
    – keshlam
    Feb 20 '16 at 15:41










    up vote
    4
    down vote














    So, at what point is it advisable to file an actual grievance in a
    family business, rather than having (another) informal chat about it?




    In general, you should take formal actions when



    • Sufficient informal actions have taken place

    • The informal actions haven't resulted in an acceptable outcome

    • You are willing to bear the consequences associated with the formal action (costs, time, persistence, social impact, possible informal retaliation from coworkers and employer, etc)

    • The issue at hand is serious enough

    • Your own record is extremely clean

    Don't ever treat the filing of a formal action casually. Once you start things in motion, they are exceedingly hard to stop, and can have difficult consequences even if you succeed.






    share|improve this answer


























      up vote
      4
      down vote














      So, at what point is it advisable to file an actual grievance in a
      family business, rather than having (another) informal chat about it?




      In general, you should take formal actions when



      • Sufficient informal actions have taken place

      • The informal actions haven't resulted in an acceptable outcome

      • You are willing to bear the consequences associated with the formal action (costs, time, persistence, social impact, possible informal retaliation from coworkers and employer, etc)

      • The issue at hand is serious enough

      • Your own record is extremely clean

      Don't ever treat the filing of a formal action casually. Once you start things in motion, they are exceedingly hard to stop, and can have difficult consequences even if you succeed.






      share|improve this answer
























        up vote
        4
        down vote










        up vote
        4
        down vote










        So, at what point is it advisable to file an actual grievance in a
        family business, rather than having (another) informal chat about it?




        In general, you should take formal actions when



        • Sufficient informal actions have taken place

        • The informal actions haven't resulted in an acceptable outcome

        • You are willing to bear the consequences associated with the formal action (costs, time, persistence, social impact, possible informal retaliation from coworkers and employer, etc)

        • The issue at hand is serious enough

        • Your own record is extremely clean

        Don't ever treat the filing of a formal action casually. Once you start things in motion, they are exceedingly hard to stop, and can have difficult consequences even if you succeed.






        share|improve this answer















        So, at what point is it advisable to file an actual grievance in a
        family business, rather than having (another) informal chat about it?




        In general, you should take formal actions when



        • Sufficient informal actions have taken place

        • The informal actions haven't resulted in an acceptable outcome

        • You are willing to bear the consequences associated with the formal action (costs, time, persistence, social impact, possible informal retaliation from coworkers and employer, etc)

        • The issue at hand is serious enough

        • Your own record is extremely clean

        Don't ever treat the filing of a formal action casually. Once you start things in motion, they are exceedingly hard to stop, and can have difficult consequences even if you succeed.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited Feb 17 '16 at 17:11

























        answered Feb 17 '16 at 17:03









        Joe Strazzere

        222k103649915




        222k103649915






















             

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