Mixing
The manipulating “manager†[closed]
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I am a veteran accountant who also has a degree and experience in Personnel Management. I work for a couple of guys who own four businesses. I've been doing their accounting for years.
Recently, I was relocated from one business to another in order to clean up the software system and to take on more tasks. I received no raise for this. They instead hired a "Manager" (who had previously quit) to the tune of $20,000 more per year AND FULL FAMILY BENEFITS.
This guy is a manipulator of the two I work for. He is extremely condescending and (in his own words to me) "afraid to get fingers pointed at". He's a BS artist who nobody likes, avoids others, shies away from tasks, and yet my bosses suck up his words as if they came from Jesus Christ Himself.
Meanwhile, I'm doing the work and setting goals. How does one deal with this? Perhaps I'm in the wrong forum here, but I was searching for something similar to my plight. Any advice would be well received.
management
edited Sep 1 '15 at 5:15
JakeGould
6,5721739
asked Sep 1 '15 at 2:48
Lisa
121
closed as off-topic by Jim G., Masked Man♦, Philipp, gnat, mcknz Sep 1 '15 at 14:22
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – Jim G., Masked Man, Philipp, gnat, mcknz
 |Â
show 1 more comment
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
I am a veteran accountant who also has a degree and experience in Personnel Management. I work for a couple of guys who own four businesses. I've been doing their accounting for years.
Recently, I was relocated from one business to another in order to clean up the software system and to take on more tasks. I received no raise for this. They instead hired a "Manager" (who had previously quit) to the tune of $20,000 more per year AND FULL FAMILY BENEFITS.
This guy is a manipulator of the two I work for. He is extremely condescending and (in his own words to me) "afraid to get fingers pointed at". He's a BS artist who nobody likes, avoids others, shies away from tasks, and yet my bosses suck up his words as if they came from Jesus Christ Himself.
Meanwhile, I'm doing the work and setting goals. How does one deal with this? Perhaps I'm in the wrong forum here, but I was searching for something similar to my plight. Any advice would be well received.
management
edited Sep 1 '15 at 5:15
JakeGould
6,5721739
asked Sep 1 '15 at 2:48
Lisa
121
closed as off-topic by Jim G., Masked Man♦, Philipp, gnat, mcknz Sep 1 '15 at 14:22
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – Jim G., Masked Man, Philipp, gnat, mcknz
2
I'd love to know the answer to this cause I've been in this situation and nothing I tried worked. I ended up leaving the company.
– Brian Dishaw
Sep 1 '15 at 3:17
Simple answer is that you probably can't do anything. Unless he shoots himself with something stupid, anything you do to try to point out his flaws will be taken as jealousy or agitation.
– Jane S♦
Sep 1 '15 at 3:34
2
I don't see how any of the stuff you wrote affects you or your work.
– Philipp
Sep 1 '15 at 11:06
1
Maybe you can try to describe more dispassionately the problems you're having with your manager. As it stands the description just sounds like you're ranting, but I'm not quite sure why. For example, the fact that he makes a specific amount of money more than your previous manager -- this is a strange thing to know and to complain about. Better not include that complaint as it's not about how well he's doing his job.
– Brandin
Sep 1 '15 at 11:25
1
Possible duplicate: What can I do to make a coworkers lack of effort more visible?
– David K
Sep 1 '15 at 12:22
 |Â
show 1 more comment
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
up vote
1
down vote
favorite
I am a veteran accountant who also has a degree and experience in Personnel Management. I work for a couple of guys who own four businesses. I've been doing their accounting for years.
Recently, I was relocated from one business to another in order to clean up the software system and to take on more tasks. I received no raise for this. They instead hired a "Manager" (who had previously quit) to the tune of $20,000 more per year AND FULL FAMILY BENEFITS.
This guy is a manipulator of the two I work for. He is extremely condescending and (in his own words to me) "afraid to get fingers pointed at". He's a BS artist who nobody likes, avoids others, shies away from tasks, and yet my bosses suck up his words as if they came from Jesus Christ Himself.
Meanwhile, I'm doing the work and setting goals. How does one deal with this? Perhaps I'm in the wrong forum here, but I was searching for something similar to my plight. Any advice would be well received.
management
edited Sep 1 '15 at 5:15
JakeGould
6,5721739
asked Sep 1 '15 at 2:48
Lisa
121
I am a veteran accountant who also has a degree and experience in Personnel Management. I work for a couple of guys who own four businesses. I've been doing their accounting for years.
Recently, I was relocated from one business to another in order to clean up the software system and to take on more tasks. I received no raise for this. They instead hired a "Manager" (who had previously quit) to the tune of $20,000 more per year AND FULL FAMILY BENEFITS.
This guy is a manipulator of the two I work for. He is extremely condescending and (in his own words to me) "afraid to get fingers pointed at". He's a BS artist who nobody likes, avoids others, shies away from tasks, and yet my bosses suck up his words as if they came from Jesus Christ Himself.
Meanwhile, I'm doing the work and setting goals. How does one deal with this? Perhaps I'm in the wrong forum here, but I was searching for something similar to my plight. Any advice would be well received.
management
edited Sep 1 '15 at 5:15
JakeGould
6,5721739
asked Sep 1 '15 at 2:48
Lisa
121
edited Sep 1 '15 at 5:15
JakeGould
6,5721739
edited Sep 1 '15 at 5:15
JakeGould
6,5721739
edited Sep 1 '15 at 5:15
JakeGould
6,5721739
6,5721739
asked Sep 1 '15 at 2:48
Lisa
121
asked Sep 1 '15 at 2:48
Lisa
121
asked Sep 1 '15 at 2:48
Lisa
121
121
closed as off-topic by Jim G., Masked Man♦, Philipp, gnat, mcknz Sep 1 '15 at 14:22
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – Jim G., Masked Man, Philipp, gnat, mcknz
closed as off-topic by Jim G., Masked Man♦, Philipp, gnat, mcknz Sep 1 '15 at 14:22
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Real questions have answers. Rather than explaining why your situation is terrible, or why your boss/coworker makes you unhappy, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, click here." – Jim G., Masked Man, Philipp, gnat, mcknz
2
I'd love to know the answer to this cause I've been in this situation and nothing I tried worked. I ended up leaving the company.
– Brian Dishaw
Sep 1 '15 at 3:17
Simple answer is that you probably can't do anything. Unless he shoots himself with something stupid, anything you do to try to point out his flaws will be taken as jealousy or agitation.
– Jane S♦
Sep 1 '15 at 3:34
2
I don't see how any of the stuff you wrote affects you or your work.
– Philipp
Sep 1 '15 at 11:06
1
Maybe you can try to describe more dispassionately the problems you're having with your manager. As it stands the description just sounds like you're ranting, but I'm not quite sure why. For example, the fact that he makes a specific amount of money more than your previous manager -- this is a strange thing to know and to complain about. Better not include that complaint as it's not about how well he's doing his job.
– Brandin
Sep 1 '15 at 11:25
1
Possible duplicate: What can I do to make a coworkers lack of effort more visible?
– David K
Sep 1 '15 at 12:22
 |Â
show 1 more comment
2
I'd love to know the answer to this cause I've been in this situation and nothing I tried worked. I ended up leaving the company.
– Brian Dishaw
Sep 1 '15 at 3:17
Simple answer is that you probably can't do anything. Unless he shoots himself with something stupid, anything you do to try to point out his flaws will be taken as jealousy or agitation.
– Jane S♦
Sep 1 '15 at 3:34
2
I don't see how any of the stuff you wrote affects you or your work.
– Philipp
Sep 1 '15 at 11:06
1
Maybe you can try to describe more dispassionately the problems you're having with your manager. As it stands the description just sounds like you're ranting, but I'm not quite sure why. For example, the fact that he makes a specific amount of money more than your previous manager -- this is a strange thing to know and to complain about. Better not include that complaint as it's not about how well he's doing his job.
– Brandin
Sep 1 '15 at 11:25
1
Possible duplicate: What can I do to make a coworkers lack of effort more visible?
– David K
Sep 1 '15 at 12:22
2
2
I'd love to know the answer to this cause I've been in this situation and nothing I tried worked. I ended up leaving the company.
– Brian Dishaw
Sep 1 '15 at 3:17
I'd love to know the answer to this cause I've been in this situation and nothing I tried worked. I ended up leaving the company.
– Brian Dishaw
Sep 1 '15 at 3:17
Simple answer is that you probably can't do anything. Unless he shoots himself with something stupid, anything you do to try to point out his flaws will be taken as jealousy or agitation.
– Jane S♦
Sep 1 '15 at 3:34
Simple answer is that you probably can't do anything. Unless he shoots himself with something stupid, anything you do to try to point out his flaws will be taken as jealousy or agitation.
– Jane S♦
Sep 1 '15 at 3:34
2
2
I don't see how any of the stuff you wrote affects you or your work.
– Philipp
Sep 1 '15 at 11:06
I don't see how any of the stuff you wrote affects you or your work.
– Philipp
Sep 1 '15 at 11:06
1
1
Maybe you can try to describe more dispassionately the problems you're having with your manager. As it stands the description just sounds like you're ranting, but I'm not quite sure why. For example, the fact that he makes a specific amount of money more than your previous manager -- this is a strange thing to know and to complain about. Better not include that complaint as it's not about how well he's doing his job.
– Brandin
Sep 1 '15 at 11:25
Maybe you can try to describe more dispassionately the problems you're having with your manager. As it stands the description just sounds like you're ranting, but I'm not quite sure why. For example, the fact that he makes a specific amount of money more than your previous manager -- this is a strange thing to know and to complain about. Better not include that complaint as it's not about how well he's doing his job.
– Brandin
Sep 1 '15 at 11:25
1
1
Possible duplicate: What can I do to make a coworkers lack of effort more visible?
– David K
Sep 1 '15 at 12:22
Possible duplicate: What can I do to make a coworkers lack of effort more visible?
– David K
Sep 1 '15 at 12:22
 |Â
show 1 more comment
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
The root of many problems is the expectations we have that the world will work according to our likes and dislikes. When we dislike something, we find fault with the world: "It's messed up! How do I deal with it!" Could it be at all possible that the cause of the problem is not with the world, but with our unrealistic expectations?
The inconvenient yet most effective method is to use this as an opportunity to improve ourselves. Think about what this situation brings out in you, first, and only then turn your attention to others. Say, "what can I do to improve myself so that my perception becomes less negative?"
Maybe this situation is a great opportunity to try to become more easy-going about how you react to those who annoy you. Try to find at least something positive about this person. Nobody is all bad, to everyone, all the time. Perhaps this manager does something that is not obvious to you that somehow makes a positive contribution to the workplace.
Perhaps he has a way of dealing with his employers in such a way that assuages their concerns and makes them more comfortable with some of their business problems. Indirectly, having content bosses may be beneficial to the business as a whole and indirectly in some ways make your life easier in ways you are not even aware of. This may not be transparent at the moment, but try to observe his conduct a little more carefully and objectively, without preconceived notions, and try to recognize whether there is anything at all they do that could be put in the "benefit" pile.
If you find anything like that, then try to focus your attention on that aspect of their work and personality, and maybe even try to acknowledge them for it in some positive way. Sometimes a little positive attitude from a coworker does wonders. Good luck!
Finally, I would suggest to do your best not to take this person's attitudes, work style, or anything at all that they do personally, as if it's about you and all you care about is how it affects you. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they are going through a tough time in personal life (which can last years, for reasons beyond their control) and it inadvertently affects their workplace conduct. Some people are reflective and self-aware enough to acknowledge this and try to divorce their work behavior from personal issues, but others are less adept at this.
Perhaps the best you could do, both for yourself and for that person, is to be professional in all your dealings with them, show understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt. This just might help nudge them toward changing some of their behaviors, at least toward you, and it will for sure make you a better colleague and professional. Good luck.
Sorry I don't have a silver bullet or some quick pill for this situation. I would advise to tread softly and focus on your work, focus on being professional with everyone at all times, try to give that person some space and not to take their attitudes and conduct personally. Work is work, at the end of the day we all go home and have a chance to leave it behind and refocus on the things that are really important in life. Good luck!
answered Sep 1 '15 at 12:24
A.S
6,65531636
suggest improvements |Â
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
3
down vote
The root of many problems is the expectations we have that the world will work according to our likes and dislikes. When we dislike something, we find fault with the world: "It's messed up! How do I deal with it!" Could it be at all possible that the cause of the problem is not with the world, but with our unrealistic expectations?
The inconvenient yet most effective method is to use this as an opportunity to improve ourselves. Think about what this situation brings out in you, first, and only then turn your attention to others. Say, "what can I do to improve myself so that my perception becomes less negative?"
Maybe this situation is a great opportunity to try to become more easy-going about how you react to those who annoy you. Try to find at least something positive about this person. Nobody is all bad, to everyone, all the time. Perhaps this manager does something that is not obvious to you that somehow makes a positive contribution to the workplace.
Perhaps he has a way of dealing with his employers in such a way that assuages their concerns and makes them more comfortable with some of their business problems. Indirectly, having content bosses may be beneficial to the business as a whole and indirectly in some ways make your life easier in ways you are not even aware of. This may not be transparent at the moment, but try to observe his conduct a little more carefully and objectively, without preconceived notions, and try to recognize whether there is anything at all they do that could be put in the "benefit" pile.
If you find anything like that, then try to focus your attention on that aspect of their work and personality, and maybe even try to acknowledge them for it in some positive way. Sometimes a little positive attitude from a coworker does wonders. Good luck!
Finally, I would suggest to do your best not to take this person's attitudes, work style, or anything at all that they do personally, as if it's about you and all you care about is how it affects you. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they are going through a tough time in personal life (which can last years, for reasons beyond their control) and it inadvertently affects their workplace conduct. Some people are reflective and self-aware enough to acknowledge this and try to divorce their work behavior from personal issues, but others are less adept at this.
Perhaps the best you could do, both for yourself and for that person, is to be professional in all your dealings with them, show understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt. This just might help nudge them toward changing some of their behaviors, at least toward you, and it will for sure make you a better colleague and professional. Good luck.
Sorry I don't have a silver bullet or some quick pill for this situation. I would advise to tread softly and focus on your work, focus on being professional with everyone at all times, try to give that person some space and not to take their attitudes and conduct personally. Work is work, at the end of the day we all go home and have a chance to leave it behind and refocus on the things that are really important in life. Good luck!
answered Sep 1 '15 at 12:24
A.S
6,65531636
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
The root of many problems is the expectations we have that the world will work according to our likes and dislikes. When we dislike something, we find fault with the world: "It's messed up! How do I deal with it!" Could it be at all possible that the cause of the problem is not with the world, but with our unrealistic expectations?
The inconvenient yet most effective method is to use this as an opportunity to improve ourselves. Think about what this situation brings out in you, first, and only then turn your attention to others. Say, "what can I do to improve myself so that my perception becomes less negative?"
Maybe this situation is a great opportunity to try to become more easy-going about how you react to those who annoy you. Try to find at least something positive about this person. Nobody is all bad, to everyone, all the time. Perhaps this manager does something that is not obvious to you that somehow makes a positive contribution to the workplace.
Perhaps he has a way of dealing with his employers in such a way that assuages their concerns and makes them more comfortable with some of their business problems. Indirectly, having content bosses may be beneficial to the business as a whole and indirectly in some ways make your life easier in ways you are not even aware of. This may not be transparent at the moment, but try to observe his conduct a little more carefully and objectively, without preconceived notions, and try to recognize whether there is anything at all they do that could be put in the "benefit" pile.
If you find anything like that, then try to focus your attention on that aspect of their work and personality, and maybe even try to acknowledge them for it in some positive way. Sometimes a little positive attitude from a coworker does wonders. Good luck!
Finally, I would suggest to do your best not to take this person's attitudes, work style, or anything at all that they do personally, as if it's about you and all you care about is how it affects you. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they are going through a tough time in personal life (which can last years, for reasons beyond their control) and it inadvertently affects their workplace conduct. Some people are reflective and self-aware enough to acknowledge this and try to divorce their work behavior from personal issues, but others are less adept at this.
Perhaps the best you could do, both for yourself and for that person, is to be professional in all your dealings with them, show understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt. This just might help nudge them toward changing some of their behaviors, at least toward you, and it will for sure make you a better colleague and professional. Good luck.
Sorry I don't have a silver bullet or some quick pill for this situation. I would advise to tread softly and focus on your work, focus on being professional with everyone at all times, try to give that person some space and not to take their attitudes and conduct personally. Work is work, at the end of the day we all go home and have a chance to leave it behind and refocus on the things that are really important in life. Good luck!
answered Sep 1 '15 at 12:24
A.S
6,65531636
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
3
down vote
up vote
3
down vote
The root of many problems is the expectations we have that the world will work according to our likes and dislikes. When we dislike something, we find fault with the world: "It's messed up! How do I deal with it!" Could it be at all possible that the cause of the problem is not with the world, but with our unrealistic expectations?
The inconvenient yet most effective method is to use this as an opportunity to improve ourselves. Think about what this situation brings out in you, first, and only then turn your attention to others. Say, "what can I do to improve myself so that my perception becomes less negative?"
Maybe this situation is a great opportunity to try to become more easy-going about how you react to those who annoy you. Try to find at least something positive about this person. Nobody is all bad, to everyone, all the time. Perhaps this manager does something that is not obvious to you that somehow makes a positive contribution to the workplace.
Perhaps he has a way of dealing with his employers in such a way that assuages their concerns and makes them more comfortable with some of their business problems. Indirectly, having content bosses may be beneficial to the business as a whole and indirectly in some ways make your life easier in ways you are not even aware of. This may not be transparent at the moment, but try to observe his conduct a little more carefully and objectively, without preconceived notions, and try to recognize whether there is anything at all they do that could be put in the "benefit" pile.
If you find anything like that, then try to focus your attention on that aspect of their work and personality, and maybe even try to acknowledge them for it in some positive way. Sometimes a little positive attitude from a coworker does wonders. Good luck!
Finally, I would suggest to do your best not to take this person's attitudes, work style, or anything at all that they do personally, as if it's about you and all you care about is how it affects you. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they are going through a tough time in personal life (which can last years, for reasons beyond their control) and it inadvertently affects their workplace conduct. Some people are reflective and self-aware enough to acknowledge this and try to divorce their work behavior from personal issues, but others are less adept at this.
Perhaps the best you could do, both for yourself and for that person, is to be professional in all your dealings with them, show understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt. This just might help nudge them toward changing some of their behaviors, at least toward you, and it will for sure make you a better colleague and professional. Good luck.
Sorry I don't have a silver bullet or some quick pill for this situation. I would advise to tread softly and focus on your work, focus on being professional with everyone at all times, try to give that person some space and not to take their attitudes and conduct personally. Work is work, at the end of the day we all go home and have a chance to leave it behind and refocus on the things that are really important in life. Good luck!
answered Sep 1 '15 at 12:24
A.S
6,65531636
The root of many problems is the expectations we have that the world will work according to our likes and dislikes. When we dislike something, we find fault with the world: "It's messed up! How do I deal with it!" Could it be at all possible that the cause of the problem is not with the world, but with our unrealistic expectations?
The inconvenient yet most effective method is to use this as an opportunity to improve ourselves. Think about what this situation brings out in you, first, and only then turn your attention to others. Say, "what can I do to improve myself so that my perception becomes less negative?"
Maybe this situation is a great opportunity to try to become more easy-going about how you react to those who annoy you. Try to find at least something positive about this person. Nobody is all bad, to everyone, all the time. Perhaps this manager does something that is not obvious to you that somehow makes a positive contribution to the workplace.
Perhaps he has a way of dealing with his employers in such a way that assuages their concerns and makes them more comfortable with some of their business problems. Indirectly, having content bosses may be beneficial to the business as a whole and indirectly in some ways make your life easier in ways you are not even aware of. This may not be transparent at the moment, but try to observe his conduct a little more carefully and objectively, without preconceived notions, and try to recognize whether there is anything at all they do that could be put in the "benefit" pile.
If you find anything like that, then try to focus your attention on that aspect of their work and personality, and maybe even try to acknowledge them for it in some positive way. Sometimes a little positive attitude from a coworker does wonders. Good luck!
Finally, I would suggest to do your best not to take this person's attitudes, work style, or anything at all that they do personally, as if it's about you and all you care about is how it affects you. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they are going through a tough time in personal life (which can last years, for reasons beyond their control) and it inadvertently affects their workplace conduct. Some people are reflective and self-aware enough to acknowledge this and try to divorce their work behavior from personal issues, but others are less adept at this.
Perhaps the best you could do, both for yourself and for that person, is to be professional in all your dealings with them, show understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt. This just might help nudge them toward changing some of their behaviors, at least toward you, and it will for sure make you a better colleague and professional. Good luck.
Sorry I don't have a silver bullet or some quick pill for this situation. I would advise to tread softly and focus on your work, focus on being professional with everyone at all times, try to give that person some space and not to take their attitudes and conduct personally. Work is work, at the end of the day we all go home and have a chance to leave it behind and refocus on the things that are really important in life. Good luck!
answered Sep 1 '15 at 12:24
A.S
6,65531636
answered Sep 1 '15 at 12:24
A.S
6,65531636
answered Sep 1 '15 at 12:24
A.S
6,65531636
answered Sep 1 '15 at 12:24
A.S
6,65531636
6,65531636
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
2
I'd love to know the answer to this cause I've been in this situation and nothing I tried worked. I ended up leaving the company.
– Brian Dishaw
Sep 1 '15 at 3:17
Simple answer is that you probably can't do anything. Unless he shoots himself with something stupid, anything you do to try to point out his flaws will be taken as jealousy or agitation.
– Jane S♦
Sep 1 '15 at 3:34
2
I don't see how any of the stuff you wrote affects you or your work.
– Philipp
Sep 1 '15 at 11:06
1
Maybe you can try to describe more dispassionately the problems you're having with your manager. As it stands the description just sounds like you're ranting, but I'm not quite sure why. For example, the fact that he makes a specific amount of money more than your previous manager -- this is a strange thing to know and to complain about. Better not include that complaint as it's not about how well he's doing his job.
– Brandin
Sep 1 '15 at 11:25
1
Possible duplicate: What can I do to make a coworkers lack of effort more visible?
– David K
Sep 1 '15 at 12:22