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How do I handle my last name changing after marriage?
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Though I'm not currently getting married, I've always wondered how I should handle my last name within the workplace when I do.
In the workplace, your name is directly attached to your work. When you get married and change it, and people are unaware of your new marital status, you can end up needing to start from scratch in your reputation. Though it's somewhat clear within your own place of work, customers and potential future employers who may have known of you prior to marriage may not realize you're the same person.
I'm a woman asking this question for down the road, but the question equally applies to a man who chooses to change his last name as well.
What are ways to handle name changes within the workplace without losing your prior reputation and link to your past work?
communication career-development
asked Jul 1 '14 at 15:40
littlekellilee
6021711
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up vote
8
down vote
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Though I'm not currently getting married, I've always wondered how I should handle my last name within the workplace when I do.
In the workplace, your name is directly attached to your work. When you get married and change it, and people are unaware of your new marital status, you can end up needing to start from scratch in your reputation. Though it's somewhat clear within your own place of work, customers and potential future employers who may have known of you prior to marriage may not realize you're the same person.
I'm a woman asking this question for down the road, but the question equally applies to a man who chooses to change his last name as well.
What are ways to handle name changes within the workplace without losing your prior reputation and link to your past work?
communication career-development
asked Jul 1 '14 at 15:40
littlekellilee
6021711
1
I'd switch to using a double name for a while, so people knowing you under the previous name will still see it. If your married name is a single name, then you can switch to that at a later time. Like Smith -> Jones-Smith or Smith-Jones -> Jones over two years.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 15:48
3
@gnasher729 - I'd be careful with that suggestion. In some circles, using a double last name is looked down upon. Not saying it's right, just saying it is.
– Wesley Long
Jul 1 '14 at 15:56
I didn't. It's kind of like those people who change all the file names for assets when you put out a new version of the software. A lot of extra paper pushing that doesn't benefit anyone. The only downside is my husband gets called "Mr. Blankenship" a lot.
– Amy Blankenship
Jul 1 '14 at 16:29
2
Wesley, just out of curiosity: What circles would that be? I can tell you that anyone looking down on my wife would be in deep trouble.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 21:56
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
8
down vote
favorite
up vote
8
down vote
favorite
Though I'm not currently getting married, I've always wondered how I should handle my last name within the workplace when I do.
In the workplace, your name is directly attached to your work. When you get married and change it, and people are unaware of your new marital status, you can end up needing to start from scratch in your reputation. Though it's somewhat clear within your own place of work, customers and potential future employers who may have known of you prior to marriage may not realize you're the same person.
I'm a woman asking this question for down the road, but the question equally applies to a man who chooses to change his last name as well.
What are ways to handle name changes within the workplace without losing your prior reputation and link to your past work?
communication career-development
asked Jul 1 '14 at 15:40
littlekellilee
6021711
Though I'm not currently getting married, I've always wondered how I should handle my last name within the workplace when I do.
In the workplace, your name is directly attached to your work. When you get married and change it, and people are unaware of your new marital status, you can end up needing to start from scratch in your reputation. Though it's somewhat clear within your own place of work, customers and potential future employers who may have known of you prior to marriage may not realize you're the same person.
I'm a woman asking this question for down the road, but the question equally applies to a man who chooses to change his last name as well.
What are ways to handle name changes within the workplace without losing your prior reputation and link to your past work?
communication career-development
asked Jul 1 '14 at 15:40
littlekellilee
6021711
asked Jul 1 '14 at 15:40
littlekellilee
6021711
asked Jul 1 '14 at 15:40
littlekellilee
6021711
asked Jul 1 '14 at 15:40
littlekellilee
6021711
6021711
1
I'd switch to using a double name for a while, so people knowing you under the previous name will still see it. If your married name is a single name, then you can switch to that at a later time. Like Smith -> Jones-Smith or Smith-Jones -> Jones over two years.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 15:48
3
@gnasher729 - I'd be careful with that suggestion. In some circles, using a double last name is looked down upon. Not saying it's right, just saying it is.
– Wesley Long
Jul 1 '14 at 15:56
I didn't. It's kind of like those people who change all the file names for assets when you put out a new version of the software. A lot of extra paper pushing that doesn't benefit anyone. The only downside is my husband gets called "Mr. Blankenship" a lot.
– Amy Blankenship
Jul 1 '14 at 16:29
2
Wesley, just out of curiosity: What circles would that be? I can tell you that anyone looking down on my wife would be in deep trouble.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 21:56
suggest improvements |Â
1
I'd switch to using a double name for a while, so people knowing you under the previous name will still see it. If your married name is a single name, then you can switch to that at a later time. Like Smith -> Jones-Smith or Smith-Jones -> Jones over two years.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 15:48
3
@gnasher729 - I'd be careful with that suggestion. In some circles, using a double last name is looked down upon. Not saying it's right, just saying it is.
– Wesley Long
Jul 1 '14 at 15:56
I didn't. It's kind of like those people who change all the file names for assets when you put out a new version of the software. A lot of extra paper pushing that doesn't benefit anyone. The only downside is my husband gets called "Mr. Blankenship" a lot.
– Amy Blankenship
Jul 1 '14 at 16:29
2
Wesley, just out of curiosity: What circles would that be? I can tell you that anyone looking down on my wife would be in deep trouble.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 21:56
1
1
I'd switch to using a double name for a while, so people knowing you under the previous name will still see it. If your married name is a single name, then you can switch to that at a later time. Like Smith -> Jones-Smith or Smith-Jones -> Jones over two years.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 15:48
I'd switch to using a double name for a while, so people knowing you under the previous name will still see it. If your married name is a single name, then you can switch to that at a later time. Like Smith -> Jones-Smith or Smith-Jones -> Jones over two years.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 15:48
3
3
@gnasher729 - I'd be careful with that suggestion. In some circles, using a double last name is looked down upon. Not saying it's right, just saying it is.
– Wesley Long
Jul 1 '14 at 15:56
@gnasher729 - I'd be careful with that suggestion. In some circles, using a double last name is looked down upon. Not saying it's right, just saying it is.
– Wesley Long
Jul 1 '14 at 15:56
I didn't. It's kind of like those people who change all the file names for assets when you put out a new version of the software. A lot of extra paper pushing that doesn't benefit anyone. The only downside is my husband gets called "Mr. Blankenship" a lot.
– Amy Blankenship
Jul 1 '14 at 16:29
I didn't. It's kind of like those people who change all the file names for assets when you put out a new version of the software. A lot of extra paper pushing that doesn't benefit anyone. The only downside is my husband gets called "Mr. Blankenship" a lot.
– Amy Blankenship
Jul 1 '14 at 16:29
2
2
Wesley, just out of curiosity: What circles would that be? I can tell you that anyone looking down on my wife would be in deep trouble.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 21:56
Wesley, just out of curiosity: What circles would that be? I can tell you that anyone looking down on my wife would be in deep trouble.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 21:56
suggest improvements |Â
5 Answers
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up vote
11
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accepted
I've had several coworkers change their names upon marriage (including one man). In most contexts they either used both names ("Jane Oldname Newname" or hyphenated) or just made the switch. People got used to it and they didn't seem to have problems with remote coworkers, customers, etc.
Email -- which is how most of this kind of communication happens -- offers some additional options, assuming the common corporate practice of addresses like "firstname.lastname@example.com":
Some changed email addresses with the old one forwarding to the new one. The first time they replied to a forwarded message they mentioned the change.
Some modified the email name (not the address but the text that appears in a From line): "Jane (Oldname) Newname". This has the advantage, over other ways of using both names, of conveying that the "real" name is Newname but you're providing a hint.
I'm talking here about what to do when interacting with other people, since that was the concern brought in the question. From a paperwork perspective (HR, payroll, etc), it's best to make sure that the name in their records matches the name you use for legal ID, taxes, etc.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 16:07
Monica Cellio♦
43.7k17114191
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
8
down vote
If you feel you have a professional reputation to preserve, then you do not change your name professionally (you can use one name socially and another professionally or simply don't change your name, it is not required that you do so most places). This is what many people who have a reputaion outside their current workplace do such as women who have publications in their orginal name, women who are known professionally such as doctors, women who do a lot of professional presentations at conferences, women who are book authors, etc.
The vast majority of us only have a reputation internally to the current company to worry about, and everyone will get used to your new name rather quickly, so just change your name and let HR know about the change. Depending on the company you may need to have your work email updated. If you have outside contacts that you deal with a on regular basis, you may also want to let them know that this is your new email address.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 15:53
HLGEM
133k25226489
1
Are you saying that you change your name legally, but still use your old name in a professional setting? Or that you don't change your name legally either? I would think that the former would add a lot of complications in terms of HR, payroll, etc.
– David K
Jul 1 '14 at 16:26
1
Many professionals legally change their names and continue to use both. Some do not legally change the name but use the husband's name when in a social situation only. Others hyphenate. Of course I am of the opinion personally that there is no reason whatsoever for a woman to change her name (legally or socially) when she marries, but hey YMMV.
– HLGEM
Jul 1 '14 at 17:43
1
@DavidK - What sort of complications do you envision? In practical terms, it's no different than using a pseudonym. Most things (and especially payroll) will be tracked by numbers anyways (bank account, SSN, etc.). And to HR in a large organization you're most likely something like 'Employee #5729'. In most contexts your name is not actually a primary key, which means changing it arbitrarily should not cause many issues.
– aroth
Jul 13 '14 at 6:42
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
I am a lawyer.
I went to law school, clerked and practiced for 7 years using my first husband's surname, call it Smith. I have a number of Appellate and Supreme Court decisions published using that last name.
I got married and chose to use my second husbands last name; we will call him Jones.
I used the former surname as a middle name but did not hyphenate it because it was not my maiden name and it felt uncomfortable to link two husbands quite that way.
Thus my business cards, letterhead and my formal attorney license uses Piquet Smith Jones.
After a few years people just called me Piquet Jones. Some people and even old clients who I knew before I remarried still call me Smith. We laugh about it because I have been married 31 years now.
As you know, some women choose to adopt their husband's surnames and some do not. Now that US society is learning to deal with gay marriage, women's surname choice is no longer a hot issue.
My advice is to make an announcement, get HR/IT to change your email address if it contains your old name and be gracious when someone forgets because someone will do so at a most embarrassing moment. I guaranty that.
answered Jul 13 '14 at 2:47
piquet
47345
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I have been told it's not really a problem, but that is from women who were fairly well established before getting married, so the papers and so on that they were associated with still contributed to their reputation after one (or two) name changes. One wrote some documents that were used as the basis for legislation that is still in force years later, so when people make the connection, it's like "of course it's you".
When you announce the name change, it acts as an attention-getter for you personally as well.
Social media such as Linkedin should allow you to be searched by your maiden name. Linkedin, in particular, has a spot for it. If you're listed elsewhere, you should add it elsewhere in your profile to allow searching.
Of course you have the option of keeping your maiden name, and many women do that (especially those from other cultures such as Chinese), and not always for positive reasons.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 17:41
Spehro Pefhany
1,2401715
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My answer is based on US law, other locations will need to review their local laws.
The thing I've seen work best for those who DO change their name is continue to use their madden name professionally, but use their new name socially. In most states (if not all) you can legally refer to yourself by any name (referred to as alias on legal paperwork) regardless whether or not that is your legal name. So long as your use of that name is consistent and not malicious or criminal in intent.
I did a lot of research in this topic when my wife and I got married as she was concerned about the career implications as well (of which after the fact there was none, even though she did decide to use her new name professionally.)
Exception
In the state of Florida a man cannot assume his wife's last name without first posting an article in a "newspaper" for three weeks consecutively stating his intent at assuming her name. (this law does not apply to men who are not taking their wives' last name, nor does it apply to women at all.) we have really dumb laws here
answered Jul 1 '14 at 21:11
RualStorge
9,5372231
what is that, the equivalent of reading the banns or something?
– sevenseacat
Jul 3 '14 at 14:37
I would say the articles would be near equivalent to reading the banns. (the only difference is your focus is on you intend to change your name because your getting married vs. the intent to marry itself) The initial reason for the law was to prevent debt dodging, but now it just acts as a chilling effect for the non-traditional act of a man taking his wife's last name (This would also apply in case same sex marriage between two men, so chilling effect there too)
– RualStorge
Jul 3 '14 at 15:02
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5 Answers
5
active
oldest
votes
5 Answers
5
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
11
down vote
accepted
I've had several coworkers change their names upon marriage (including one man). In most contexts they either used both names ("Jane Oldname Newname" or hyphenated) or just made the switch. People got used to it and they didn't seem to have problems with remote coworkers, customers, etc.
Email -- which is how most of this kind of communication happens -- offers some additional options, assuming the common corporate practice of addresses like "firstname.lastname@example.com":
Some changed email addresses with the old one forwarding to the new one. The first time they replied to a forwarded message they mentioned the change.
Some modified the email name (not the address but the text that appears in a From line): "Jane (Oldname) Newname". This has the advantage, over other ways of using both names, of conveying that the "real" name is Newname but you're providing a hint.
I'm talking here about what to do when interacting with other people, since that was the concern brought in the question. From a paperwork perspective (HR, payroll, etc), it's best to make sure that the name in their records matches the name you use for legal ID, taxes, etc.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 16:07
Monica Cellio♦
43.7k17114191
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
11
down vote
accepted
I've had several coworkers change their names upon marriage (including one man). In most contexts they either used both names ("Jane Oldname Newname" or hyphenated) or just made the switch. People got used to it and they didn't seem to have problems with remote coworkers, customers, etc.
Email -- which is how most of this kind of communication happens -- offers some additional options, assuming the common corporate practice of addresses like "firstname.lastname@example.com":
Some changed email addresses with the old one forwarding to the new one. The first time they replied to a forwarded message they mentioned the change.
Some modified the email name (not the address but the text that appears in a From line): "Jane (Oldname) Newname". This has the advantage, over other ways of using both names, of conveying that the "real" name is Newname but you're providing a hint.
I'm talking here about what to do when interacting with other people, since that was the concern brought in the question. From a paperwork perspective (HR, payroll, etc), it's best to make sure that the name in their records matches the name you use for legal ID, taxes, etc.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 16:07
Monica Cellio♦
43.7k17114191
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
11
down vote
accepted
up vote
11
down vote
accepted
I've had several coworkers change their names upon marriage (including one man). In most contexts they either used both names ("Jane Oldname Newname" or hyphenated) or just made the switch. People got used to it and they didn't seem to have problems with remote coworkers, customers, etc.
Email -- which is how most of this kind of communication happens -- offers some additional options, assuming the common corporate practice of addresses like "firstname.lastname@example.com":
Some changed email addresses with the old one forwarding to the new one. The first time they replied to a forwarded message they mentioned the change.
Some modified the email name (not the address but the text that appears in a From line): "Jane (Oldname) Newname". This has the advantage, over other ways of using both names, of conveying that the "real" name is Newname but you're providing a hint.
I'm talking here about what to do when interacting with other people, since that was the concern brought in the question. From a paperwork perspective (HR, payroll, etc), it's best to make sure that the name in their records matches the name you use for legal ID, taxes, etc.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 16:07
Monica Cellio♦
43.7k17114191
I've had several coworkers change their names upon marriage (including one man). In most contexts they either used both names ("Jane Oldname Newname" or hyphenated) or just made the switch. People got used to it and they didn't seem to have problems with remote coworkers, customers, etc.
Email -- which is how most of this kind of communication happens -- offers some additional options, assuming the common corporate practice of addresses like "firstname.lastname@example.com":
Some changed email addresses with the old one forwarding to the new one. The first time they replied to a forwarded message they mentioned the change.
Some modified the email name (not the address but the text that appears in a From line): "Jane (Oldname) Newname". This has the advantage, over other ways of using both names, of conveying that the "real" name is Newname but you're providing a hint.
I'm talking here about what to do when interacting with other people, since that was the concern brought in the question. From a paperwork perspective (HR, payroll, etc), it's best to make sure that the name in their records matches the name you use for legal ID, taxes, etc.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 16:07
Monica Cellio♦
43.7k17114191
edited Jul 1 '14 at 21:48
answered Jul 1 '14 at 16:07
Monica Cellio♦
43.7k17114191
answered Jul 1 '14 at 16:07
Monica Cellio♦
43.7k17114191
answered Jul 1 '14 at 16:07
Monica Cellio♦
43.7k17114191
43.7k17114191
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
8
down vote
If you feel you have a professional reputation to preserve, then you do not change your name professionally (you can use one name socially and another professionally or simply don't change your name, it is not required that you do so most places). This is what many people who have a reputaion outside their current workplace do such as women who have publications in their orginal name, women who are known professionally such as doctors, women who do a lot of professional presentations at conferences, women who are book authors, etc.
The vast majority of us only have a reputation internally to the current company to worry about, and everyone will get used to your new name rather quickly, so just change your name and let HR know about the change. Depending on the company you may need to have your work email updated. If you have outside contacts that you deal with a on regular basis, you may also want to let them know that this is your new email address.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 15:53
HLGEM
133k25226489
1
Are you saying that you change your name legally, but still use your old name in a professional setting? Or that you don't change your name legally either? I would think that the former would add a lot of complications in terms of HR, payroll, etc.
– David K
Jul 1 '14 at 16:26
1
Many professionals legally change their names and continue to use both. Some do not legally change the name but use the husband's name when in a social situation only. Others hyphenate. Of course I am of the opinion personally that there is no reason whatsoever for a woman to change her name (legally or socially) when she marries, but hey YMMV.
– HLGEM
Jul 1 '14 at 17:43
1
@DavidK - What sort of complications do you envision? In practical terms, it's no different than using a pseudonym. Most things (and especially payroll) will be tracked by numbers anyways (bank account, SSN, etc.). And to HR in a large organization you're most likely something like 'Employee #5729'. In most contexts your name is not actually a primary key, which means changing it arbitrarily should not cause many issues.
– aroth
Jul 13 '14 at 6:42
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
8
down vote
If you feel you have a professional reputation to preserve, then you do not change your name professionally (you can use one name socially and another professionally or simply don't change your name, it is not required that you do so most places). This is what many people who have a reputaion outside their current workplace do such as women who have publications in their orginal name, women who are known professionally such as doctors, women who do a lot of professional presentations at conferences, women who are book authors, etc.
The vast majority of us only have a reputation internally to the current company to worry about, and everyone will get used to your new name rather quickly, so just change your name and let HR know about the change. Depending on the company you may need to have your work email updated. If you have outside contacts that you deal with a on regular basis, you may also want to let them know that this is your new email address.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 15:53
HLGEM
133k25226489
1
Are you saying that you change your name legally, but still use your old name in a professional setting? Or that you don't change your name legally either? I would think that the former would add a lot of complications in terms of HR, payroll, etc.
– David K
Jul 1 '14 at 16:26
1
Many professionals legally change their names and continue to use both. Some do not legally change the name but use the husband's name when in a social situation only. Others hyphenate. Of course I am of the opinion personally that there is no reason whatsoever for a woman to change her name (legally or socially) when she marries, but hey YMMV.
– HLGEM
Jul 1 '14 at 17:43
1
@DavidK - What sort of complications do you envision? In practical terms, it's no different than using a pseudonym. Most things (and especially payroll) will be tracked by numbers anyways (bank account, SSN, etc.). And to HR in a large organization you're most likely something like 'Employee #5729'. In most contexts your name is not actually a primary key, which means changing it arbitrarily should not cause many issues.
– aroth
Jul 13 '14 at 6:42
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
8
down vote
up vote
8
down vote
If you feel you have a professional reputation to preserve, then you do not change your name professionally (you can use one name socially and another professionally or simply don't change your name, it is not required that you do so most places). This is what many people who have a reputaion outside their current workplace do such as women who have publications in their orginal name, women who are known professionally such as doctors, women who do a lot of professional presentations at conferences, women who are book authors, etc.
The vast majority of us only have a reputation internally to the current company to worry about, and everyone will get used to your new name rather quickly, so just change your name and let HR know about the change. Depending on the company you may need to have your work email updated. If you have outside contacts that you deal with a on regular basis, you may also want to let them know that this is your new email address.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 15:53
HLGEM
133k25226489
If you feel you have a professional reputation to preserve, then you do not change your name professionally (you can use one name socially and another professionally or simply don't change your name, it is not required that you do so most places). This is what many people who have a reputaion outside their current workplace do such as women who have publications in their orginal name, women who are known professionally such as doctors, women who do a lot of professional presentations at conferences, women who are book authors, etc.
The vast majority of us only have a reputation internally to the current company to worry about, and everyone will get used to your new name rather quickly, so just change your name and let HR know about the change. Depending on the company you may need to have your work email updated. If you have outside contacts that you deal with a on regular basis, you may also want to let them know that this is your new email address.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 15:53
HLGEM
133k25226489
answered Jul 1 '14 at 15:53
HLGEM
133k25226489
answered Jul 1 '14 at 15:53
HLGEM
133k25226489
answered Jul 1 '14 at 15:53
HLGEM
133k25226489
133k25226489
1
Are you saying that you change your name legally, but still use your old name in a professional setting? Or that you don't change your name legally either? I would think that the former would add a lot of complications in terms of HR, payroll, etc.
– David K
Jul 1 '14 at 16:26
1
Many professionals legally change their names and continue to use both. Some do not legally change the name but use the husband's name when in a social situation only. Others hyphenate. Of course I am of the opinion personally that there is no reason whatsoever for a woman to change her name (legally or socially) when she marries, but hey YMMV.
– HLGEM
Jul 1 '14 at 17:43
1
@DavidK - What sort of complications do you envision? In practical terms, it's no different than using a pseudonym. Most things (and especially payroll) will be tracked by numbers anyways (bank account, SSN, etc.). And to HR in a large organization you're most likely something like 'Employee #5729'. In most contexts your name is not actually a primary key, which means changing it arbitrarily should not cause many issues.
– aroth
Jul 13 '14 at 6:42
suggest improvements |Â
1
Are you saying that you change your name legally, but still use your old name in a professional setting? Or that you don't change your name legally either? I would think that the former would add a lot of complications in terms of HR, payroll, etc.
– David K
Jul 1 '14 at 16:26
1
Many professionals legally change their names and continue to use both. Some do not legally change the name but use the husband's name when in a social situation only. Others hyphenate. Of course I am of the opinion personally that there is no reason whatsoever for a woman to change her name (legally or socially) when she marries, but hey YMMV.
– HLGEM
Jul 1 '14 at 17:43
1
@DavidK - What sort of complications do you envision? In practical terms, it's no different than using a pseudonym. Most things (and especially payroll) will be tracked by numbers anyways (bank account, SSN, etc.). And to HR in a large organization you're most likely something like 'Employee #5729'. In most contexts your name is not actually a primary key, which means changing it arbitrarily should not cause many issues.
– aroth
Jul 13 '14 at 6:42
1
1
Are you saying that you change your name legally, but still use your old name in a professional setting? Or that you don't change your name legally either? I would think that the former would add a lot of complications in terms of HR, payroll, etc.
– David K
Jul 1 '14 at 16:26
Are you saying that you change your name legally, but still use your old name in a professional setting? Or that you don't change your name legally either? I would think that the former would add a lot of complications in terms of HR, payroll, etc.
– David K
Jul 1 '14 at 16:26
1
1
Many professionals legally change their names and continue to use both. Some do not legally change the name but use the husband's name when in a social situation only. Others hyphenate. Of course I am of the opinion personally that there is no reason whatsoever for a woman to change her name (legally or socially) when she marries, but hey YMMV.
– HLGEM
Jul 1 '14 at 17:43
Many professionals legally change their names and continue to use both. Some do not legally change the name but use the husband's name when in a social situation only. Others hyphenate. Of course I am of the opinion personally that there is no reason whatsoever for a woman to change her name (legally or socially) when she marries, but hey YMMV.
– HLGEM
Jul 1 '14 at 17:43
1
1
@DavidK - What sort of complications do you envision? In practical terms, it's no different than using a pseudonym. Most things (and especially payroll) will be tracked by numbers anyways (bank account, SSN, etc.). And to HR in a large organization you're most likely something like 'Employee #5729'. In most contexts your name is not actually a primary key, which means changing it arbitrarily should not cause many issues.
– aroth
Jul 13 '14 at 6:42
@DavidK - What sort of complications do you envision? In practical terms, it's no different than using a pseudonym. Most things (and especially payroll) will be tracked by numbers anyways (bank account, SSN, etc.). And to HR in a large organization you're most likely something like 'Employee #5729'. In most contexts your name is not actually a primary key, which means changing it arbitrarily should not cause many issues.
– aroth
Jul 13 '14 at 6:42
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
I am a lawyer.
I went to law school, clerked and practiced for 7 years using my first husband's surname, call it Smith. I have a number of Appellate and Supreme Court decisions published using that last name.
I got married and chose to use my second husbands last name; we will call him Jones.
I used the former surname as a middle name but did not hyphenate it because it was not my maiden name and it felt uncomfortable to link two husbands quite that way.
Thus my business cards, letterhead and my formal attorney license uses Piquet Smith Jones.
After a few years people just called me Piquet Jones. Some people and even old clients who I knew before I remarried still call me Smith. We laugh about it because I have been married 31 years now.
As you know, some women choose to adopt their husband's surnames and some do not. Now that US society is learning to deal with gay marriage, women's surname choice is no longer a hot issue.
My advice is to make an announcement, get HR/IT to change your email address if it contains your old name and be gracious when someone forgets because someone will do so at a most embarrassing moment. I guaranty that.
answered Jul 13 '14 at 2:47
piquet
47345
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
I am a lawyer.
I went to law school, clerked and practiced for 7 years using my first husband's surname, call it Smith. I have a number of Appellate and Supreme Court decisions published using that last name.
I got married and chose to use my second husbands last name; we will call him Jones.
I used the former surname as a middle name but did not hyphenate it because it was not my maiden name and it felt uncomfortable to link two husbands quite that way.
Thus my business cards, letterhead and my formal attorney license uses Piquet Smith Jones.
After a few years people just called me Piquet Jones. Some people and even old clients who I knew before I remarried still call me Smith. We laugh about it because I have been married 31 years now.
As you know, some women choose to adopt their husband's surnames and some do not. Now that US society is learning to deal with gay marriage, women's surname choice is no longer a hot issue.
My advice is to make an announcement, get HR/IT to change your email address if it contains your old name and be gracious when someone forgets because someone will do so at a most embarrassing moment. I guaranty that.
answered Jul 13 '14 at 2:47
piquet
47345
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
5
down vote
up vote
5
down vote
I am a lawyer.
I went to law school, clerked and practiced for 7 years using my first husband's surname, call it Smith. I have a number of Appellate and Supreme Court decisions published using that last name.
I got married and chose to use my second husbands last name; we will call him Jones.
I used the former surname as a middle name but did not hyphenate it because it was not my maiden name and it felt uncomfortable to link two husbands quite that way.
Thus my business cards, letterhead and my formal attorney license uses Piquet Smith Jones.
After a few years people just called me Piquet Jones. Some people and even old clients who I knew before I remarried still call me Smith. We laugh about it because I have been married 31 years now.
As you know, some women choose to adopt their husband's surnames and some do not. Now that US society is learning to deal with gay marriage, women's surname choice is no longer a hot issue.
My advice is to make an announcement, get HR/IT to change your email address if it contains your old name and be gracious when someone forgets because someone will do so at a most embarrassing moment. I guaranty that.
answered Jul 13 '14 at 2:47
piquet
47345
I am a lawyer.
I went to law school, clerked and practiced for 7 years using my first husband's surname, call it Smith. I have a number of Appellate and Supreme Court decisions published using that last name.
I got married and chose to use my second husbands last name; we will call him Jones.
I used the former surname as a middle name but did not hyphenate it because it was not my maiden name and it felt uncomfortable to link two husbands quite that way.
Thus my business cards, letterhead and my formal attorney license uses Piquet Smith Jones.
After a few years people just called me Piquet Jones. Some people and even old clients who I knew before I remarried still call me Smith. We laugh about it because I have been married 31 years now.
As you know, some women choose to adopt their husband's surnames and some do not. Now that US society is learning to deal with gay marriage, women's surname choice is no longer a hot issue.
My advice is to make an announcement, get HR/IT to change your email address if it contains your old name and be gracious when someone forgets because someone will do so at a most embarrassing moment. I guaranty that.
answered Jul 13 '14 at 2:47
piquet
47345
answered Jul 13 '14 at 2:47
piquet
47345
answered Jul 13 '14 at 2:47
piquet
47345
answered Jul 13 '14 at 2:47
piquet
47345
47345
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
I have been told it's not really a problem, but that is from women who were fairly well established before getting married, so the papers and so on that they were associated with still contributed to their reputation after one (or two) name changes. One wrote some documents that were used as the basis for legislation that is still in force years later, so when people make the connection, it's like "of course it's you".
When you announce the name change, it acts as an attention-getter for you personally as well.
Social media such as Linkedin should allow you to be searched by your maiden name. Linkedin, in particular, has a spot for it. If you're listed elsewhere, you should add it elsewhere in your profile to allow searching.
Of course you have the option of keeping your maiden name, and many women do that (especially those from other cultures such as Chinese), and not always for positive reasons.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 17:41
Spehro Pefhany
1,2401715
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
I have been told it's not really a problem, but that is from women who were fairly well established before getting married, so the papers and so on that they were associated with still contributed to their reputation after one (or two) name changes. One wrote some documents that were used as the basis for legislation that is still in force years later, so when people make the connection, it's like "of course it's you".
When you announce the name change, it acts as an attention-getter for you personally as well.
Social media such as Linkedin should allow you to be searched by your maiden name. Linkedin, in particular, has a spot for it. If you're listed elsewhere, you should add it elsewhere in your profile to allow searching.
Of course you have the option of keeping your maiden name, and many women do that (especially those from other cultures such as Chinese), and not always for positive reasons.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 17:41
Spehro Pefhany
1,2401715
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
I have been told it's not really a problem, but that is from women who were fairly well established before getting married, so the papers and so on that they were associated with still contributed to their reputation after one (or two) name changes. One wrote some documents that were used as the basis for legislation that is still in force years later, so when people make the connection, it's like "of course it's you".
When you announce the name change, it acts as an attention-getter for you personally as well.
Social media such as Linkedin should allow you to be searched by your maiden name. Linkedin, in particular, has a spot for it. If you're listed elsewhere, you should add it elsewhere in your profile to allow searching.
Of course you have the option of keeping your maiden name, and many women do that (especially those from other cultures such as Chinese), and not always for positive reasons.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 17:41
Spehro Pefhany
1,2401715
I have been told it's not really a problem, but that is from women who were fairly well established before getting married, so the papers and so on that they were associated with still contributed to their reputation after one (or two) name changes. One wrote some documents that were used as the basis for legislation that is still in force years later, so when people make the connection, it's like "of course it's you".
When you announce the name change, it acts as an attention-getter for you personally as well.
Social media such as Linkedin should allow you to be searched by your maiden name. Linkedin, in particular, has a spot for it. If you're listed elsewhere, you should add it elsewhere in your profile to allow searching.
Of course you have the option of keeping your maiden name, and many women do that (especially those from other cultures such as Chinese), and not always for positive reasons.
answered Jul 1 '14 at 17:41
Spehro Pefhany
1,2401715
answered Jul 1 '14 at 17:41
Spehro Pefhany
1,2401715
answered Jul 1 '14 at 17:41
Spehro Pefhany
1,2401715
answered Jul 1 '14 at 17:41
Spehro Pefhany
1,2401715
1,2401715
suggest improvements |Â
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
My answer is based on US law, other locations will need to review their local laws.
The thing I've seen work best for those who DO change their name is continue to use their madden name professionally, but use their new name socially. In most states (if not all) you can legally refer to yourself by any name (referred to as alias on legal paperwork) regardless whether or not that is your legal name. So long as your use of that name is consistent and not malicious or criminal in intent.
I did a lot of research in this topic when my wife and I got married as she was concerned about the career implications as well (of which after the fact there was none, even though she did decide to use her new name professionally.)
Exception
In the state of Florida a man cannot assume his wife's last name without first posting an article in a "newspaper" for three weeks consecutively stating his intent at assuming her name. (this law does not apply to men who are not taking their wives' last name, nor does it apply to women at all.) we have really dumb laws here
answered Jul 1 '14 at 21:11
RualStorge
9,5372231
what is that, the equivalent of reading the banns or something?
– sevenseacat
Jul 3 '14 at 14:37
I would say the articles would be near equivalent to reading the banns. (the only difference is your focus is on you intend to change your name because your getting married vs. the intent to marry itself) The initial reason for the law was to prevent debt dodging, but now it just acts as a chilling effect for the non-traditional act of a man taking his wife's last name (This would also apply in case same sex marriage between two men, so chilling effect there too)
– RualStorge
Jul 3 '14 at 15:02
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
My answer is based on US law, other locations will need to review their local laws.
The thing I've seen work best for those who DO change their name is continue to use their madden name professionally, but use their new name socially. In most states (if not all) you can legally refer to yourself by any name (referred to as alias on legal paperwork) regardless whether or not that is your legal name. So long as your use of that name is consistent and not malicious or criminal in intent.
I did a lot of research in this topic when my wife and I got married as she was concerned about the career implications as well (of which after the fact there was none, even though she did decide to use her new name professionally.)
Exception
In the state of Florida a man cannot assume his wife's last name without first posting an article in a "newspaper" for three weeks consecutively stating his intent at assuming her name. (this law does not apply to men who are not taking their wives' last name, nor does it apply to women at all.) we have really dumb laws here
answered Jul 1 '14 at 21:11
RualStorge
9,5372231
what is that, the equivalent of reading the banns or something?
– sevenseacat
Jul 3 '14 at 14:37
I would say the articles would be near equivalent to reading the banns. (the only difference is your focus is on you intend to change your name because your getting married vs. the intent to marry itself) The initial reason for the law was to prevent debt dodging, but now it just acts as a chilling effect for the non-traditional act of a man taking his wife's last name (This would also apply in case same sex marriage between two men, so chilling effect there too)
– RualStorge
Jul 3 '14 at 15:02
suggest improvements |Â
up vote
1
down vote
up vote
1
down vote
My answer is based on US law, other locations will need to review their local laws.
The thing I've seen work best for those who DO change their name is continue to use their madden name professionally, but use their new name socially. In most states (if not all) you can legally refer to yourself by any name (referred to as alias on legal paperwork) regardless whether or not that is your legal name. So long as your use of that name is consistent and not malicious or criminal in intent.
I did a lot of research in this topic when my wife and I got married as she was concerned about the career implications as well (of which after the fact there was none, even though she did decide to use her new name professionally.)
Exception
In the state of Florida a man cannot assume his wife's last name without first posting an article in a "newspaper" for three weeks consecutively stating his intent at assuming her name. (this law does not apply to men who are not taking their wives' last name, nor does it apply to women at all.) we have really dumb laws here
answered Jul 1 '14 at 21:11
RualStorge
9,5372231
My answer is based on US law, other locations will need to review their local laws.
The thing I've seen work best for those who DO change their name is continue to use their madden name professionally, but use their new name socially. In most states (if not all) you can legally refer to yourself by any name (referred to as alias on legal paperwork) regardless whether or not that is your legal name. So long as your use of that name is consistent and not malicious or criminal in intent.
I did a lot of research in this topic when my wife and I got married as she was concerned about the career implications as well (of which after the fact there was none, even though she did decide to use her new name professionally.)
Exception
In the state of Florida a man cannot assume his wife's last name without first posting an article in a "newspaper" for three weeks consecutively stating his intent at assuming her name. (this law does not apply to men who are not taking their wives' last name, nor does it apply to women at all.) we have really dumb laws here
answered Jul 1 '14 at 21:11
RualStorge
9,5372231
answered Jul 1 '14 at 21:11
RualStorge
9,5372231
answered Jul 1 '14 at 21:11
RualStorge
9,5372231
answered Jul 1 '14 at 21:11
RualStorge
9,5372231
9,5372231
what is that, the equivalent of reading the banns or something?
– sevenseacat
Jul 3 '14 at 14:37
I would say the articles would be near equivalent to reading the banns. (the only difference is your focus is on you intend to change your name because your getting married vs. the intent to marry itself) The initial reason for the law was to prevent debt dodging, but now it just acts as a chilling effect for the non-traditional act of a man taking his wife's last name (This would also apply in case same sex marriage between two men, so chilling effect there too)
– RualStorge
Jul 3 '14 at 15:02
suggest improvements |Â
what is that, the equivalent of reading the banns or something?
– sevenseacat
Jul 3 '14 at 14:37
I would say the articles would be near equivalent to reading the banns. (the only difference is your focus is on you intend to change your name because your getting married vs. the intent to marry itself) The initial reason for the law was to prevent debt dodging, but now it just acts as a chilling effect for the non-traditional act of a man taking his wife's last name (This would also apply in case same sex marriage between two men, so chilling effect there too)
– RualStorge
Jul 3 '14 at 15:02
what is that, the equivalent of reading the banns or something?
– sevenseacat
Jul 3 '14 at 14:37
what is that, the equivalent of reading the banns or something?
– sevenseacat
Jul 3 '14 at 14:37
I would say the articles would be near equivalent to reading the banns. (the only difference is your focus is on you intend to change your name because your getting married vs. the intent to marry itself) The initial reason for the law was to prevent debt dodging, but now it just acts as a chilling effect for the non-traditional act of a man taking his wife's last name (This would also apply in case same sex marriage between two men, so chilling effect there too)
– RualStorge
Jul 3 '14 at 15:02
I would say the articles would be near equivalent to reading the banns. (the only difference is your focus is on you intend to change your name because your getting married vs. the intent to marry itself) The initial reason for the law was to prevent debt dodging, but now it just acts as a chilling effect for the non-traditional act of a man taking his wife's last name (This would also apply in case same sex marriage between two men, so chilling effect there too)
– RualStorge
Jul 3 '14 at 15:02
suggest improvements |Â
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1
I'd switch to using a double name for a while, so people knowing you under the previous name will still see it. If your married name is a single name, then you can switch to that at a later time. Like Smith -> Jones-Smith or Smith-Jones -> Jones over two years.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 15:48
3
@gnasher729 - I'd be careful with that suggestion. In some circles, using a double last name is looked down upon. Not saying it's right, just saying it is.
– Wesley Long
Jul 1 '14 at 15:56
I didn't. It's kind of like those people who change all the file names for assets when you put out a new version of the software. A lot of extra paper pushing that doesn't benefit anyone. The only downside is my husband gets called "Mr. Blankenship" a lot.
– Amy Blankenship
Jul 1 '14 at 16:29
2
Wesley, just out of curiosity: What circles would that be? I can tell you that anyone looking down on my wife would be in deep trouble.
– gnasher729
Jul 1 '14 at 21:56